


After Life

by Skye_Willows



Series: Heart and Soul [2]
Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff and Angst, Hanahaki Disease, Heavy Angst, Long term disability, M/M, Mental Anguish, Mental Health Issues, Physical Therapy, Post-Hanahaki style disease, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD Recovery, References to Depression, Vivid Descriptions of Disability Related Struggles, workplace bullying
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-25
Updated: 2020-09-28
Packaged: 2021-03-04 19:34:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 22,931
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25451737
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skye_Willows/pseuds/Skye_Willows
Summary: Dying was the easier option, honestly. Living with scars both physical and mental was a mountain not all could overcome.They might now have their chance of a life together in earnest, but Connor and Gavin are two very broken people after the events that threatened to rip them apart forever.Two and a half years later the world is very different from when Gavin was last awake, and he realises that there's a long way still to go until they can truly have their happy ever after.
Relationships: Captain Allen & CyberLife Tower Connor | RK800-60, Connor/Gavin Reed, Hank Anderson & Connor, Hank Anderson/Upgraded Connor | RK900, Tina Chen & Gavin Reed, Upgraded Connor | RK900 & Gavin Reed
Series: Heart and Soul [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1740937
Comments: 51
Kudos: 52





	1. In At The Deep End

**Author's Note:**

> Guess who's back with more emotional pain? ;) Me!
> 
> For all of you that are returning readers from **_Watch Me Wither_** , welcome back and thank you so much for all the support you showed that fic. I was completely overwhelmed and, I'm not going to lie, that following is the only reason I've decided to write a sequel. It was intended to be a standalone fic but I got just as heavily invested in that universe as all of you, so here we are!
> 
> Anyone who has just come across this story for the first time, hello! You are more than welcome to read **_After Life_** in isolation, but please be aware that this universe has entirely unique mechanics which are introduced in **_Watch Me Wither_**. I would highly recommend reading that story first just so that you can understand how all of the characters have reached where they are now, not just Connor and Gavin.
> 
> With that out of the way, I hope you all enjoy this fic! Just as a friendly reminder, this story takes place after Chapter 15 of **_Watch Me Wither_** , the canon ending to that fic - which means this starts in April of 2042. You've only seen glimpses of what has happened in the two and half years that Gavin was in Slumber. Both he and Connor have a **very** long way to go before they can be considered 'recovered'.
> 
> This fic, like it's predecessor, is going to hit the feels hard and starts off that way. Be ready!
> 
> Enjoy all!

Reality had a very nasty habit of reminding people just what a bitch it could be during happy moments. Serenity and joy burst apart when things you had once taken for granted were suddenly ripped out from under you – but no matter the challenges to come, this was such an important step for the future. **_Their_** future.

It still seemed bizarre to Gavin that when he’d last been awake, he was dying after being convinced that he was rejected by his soulmate: waiting for his organs to finally turn completely into soup after months of pain, insomnia and a fuck ton of thoughts plus regrets.

Now he’d woken up two and half years later to discover that everything had just been an incredibly unfortunate series of events with no real intent to cause anything like the pain wrought by a Withering…But worse yet, he and Connor were nowhere near anywhere recovered.

If he was perfectly honest with himself, it was damn obvious that he and Connor were starting out pretty much from rock bottom.

Still, he had a second chance at life now. It might end up being fucking messy but he wasn’t going to give up easy, he wasn’t that sort. Plus, despite all of the other shit, there was something pivotal that had now changed. Connor returned his feelings, they actually loved each other. Gavin’s heart was still racing at random moments with that revelation.

Unfortunately, this was where Gavin was cursing at their bond even more than before. If they’d not been soulmates, they probably could have had a slow and well-founded romance. With everything being so… **fucked** though, they’d been thrown in completely at the deep end with no paddle and barely the knowledge to float let alone swim.

Gavin had only really acknowledged that he’d loved Connor for a few days before he fell into Slumber, and now they were stuck in such an awkward place. Connor had loved him for two and a half years while he was asleep, and Gavin just couldn’t get his head around that. In his mind he was only a week and a half past his 37th birthday, not just under 6 months shy of his 40th.

He felt like he’d been hurled completely into an alien world: everything was familiar and yet different at the same time. Gavin hated it for so many reasons, but he couldn’t unpack all of that right now.

One – he was alive. Connor had been waiting for him to wake up for so long, Gavin wouldn’t burden Connor with his dark thoughts in what was meant to be a joyous occasion. Two – Gavin actually had someone who loved him, someone who had been putting his own needs on the back burner from what little Gavin had managed to work out from their conversations so far. He should be thankful for that, and Gavin was. There was no words he could think of which could describe how overwhelmed he was that he’d been given this chance.

Still, human nature and all…he really wished that it hadn’t come at this cost.

Having this sequence of thoughts while he was in the goddamned bathroom and trying to figure out how to take a leak with his new physical limitations, was **not** the time to do it though.

How the fuck did anyone in a wheelchair manage to take a shit on their own? Fuck, he was struggling enough just with working out how to piss and not cover himself in it.

It was his own damn fault for telling Connor determinedly that he wanted to try doing this with the wheelchair, despite not having a fucking clue of his own body’s capabilities now. Gavin wished Connor had been more assertive, told Gavin that this wasn’t an option – in all honesty Gavin should have fucking known from how much he struggling to have a cup of herbal tea, let alone trying to hold his own weight up. At the moment he could barely balance on his weakened legs, no chance of bearing wright after literal years of inactivity; his arms were not much better.

Taking the burden of his weight with his arms wasn’t going to be an option either, which left him in an incredibly awkward position. His pride was smarting at what he knew needed to happen, but that didn’t make doing it any easier. Still, considering he’d now been asleep for two and a half years and the body didn’t exactly stop its functions while in that state…

“Connor?” he called out croakily, knowing that the android was just outside of the bathroom door. Gavin was in awe of how much work Connor had done to their now home in preparation for when/if Gavin ever woke up, from things like have a wheelchair custom made based off his body dimensions, support rails and benches placed around the house to allow Gavin maximum mobility and most surfaces lowered so that they would still be accessible to him. Right now he wished he was in a better state mentally to accept the help, but his brain hadn’t quite caught up to reality yet.

Thank fuck Connor was infinitely patient with him, and this was only day one. “Gavin?” came the reply through the wooden door and the human let out a defeated sigh.

“I need some help,” Gavin said bitterly, angry at his body for being so fragile. Connor didn’t make any comment as he walked inside though, simply allowed Gavin to get himself into the best position he could before essentially hoisting Gavin up by his hip to hold him upright.

Gavin shook his head against the myriad of emotions and set about his business, thankful that Connor wasn’t watching or making any comment. This was embarrassing enough, but he supposed he was going to have to get used to it for a while. Fuck, how was showering or anything like that going to work?

“Thanks,” Gavin stated as he finished, grateful that Connor could essentially hold him in place with one arm thanks to the android’s careful calculations of physics and pressure points which meant they could be held in position by his strength alone. “I’m sorry, I should have realised that I couldn’t so this on my own, I just-”

“Don’t apologise for that, Gavin,” Connor assured him while pressing a tender kiss to Gavin’s cheek. “You’ve woken up into an entirely new body that is reacting in very different ways from when you last remember, not to mention that you have always been fiercely independent. I want to give you as much autonomy as possible, and letting you have the freedom to find your own limits is an important part of that.”

A small laugh left Gavin as the pair worked together to get him cleaned up and back into the wheelchair, thankful that Connor knew the right things to say. “I guess you’ve had a lot longer to psyche yourself up for when this finally happened. I’m still barely able to keep up with the fact that I’m actually alive, let alone all the changes to now.”

Connor smiled and walked back out of the bathroom to allow Gavin space to try and turn around in the wheelchair and manoeuvre himself back out. It was slow going since Gavin had never used a wheelchair before, he really didn’t have the best knowledge on how it moved. After a few attempts at turning which left him basically rocking backwards and forwards, Gavin sighed in frustration and looked at Connor pleadingly.

The android did nothing more than nod and help Gavin to back out into the much more spacious open plan living area, which allowed Gavin to finally right himself and move across the room. Rather than ask Connor to shift him to the sofa straight away, he spent a little more time getting used to moving around as the android kept their animals amused. That worked for so long until Cleo, their adorable cat that Gavin was already head over heels in love with, jumped on to his lap and decided that he made just as comfortable a pillow while in his wheelchair.

He could already see how having animals was probably going to be imperative to his recovery. Just a few hours in and he could feel himself getting overwhelmed at how Cleo didn’t judge him for his limitations, just embraced them and still loved Gavin for them. The fact that she’d never known him as anything other than a warm body pillow probably played a part in that since Connor had taken her in a year ago, long after he’d fallen asleep.

Then again, it was easier with the animals because there wasn’t the expectation of what he’d been **before**. Gavin really wasn’t sure that he liked what he’d seen as the start of this new **after** life.

Connor saw how Gavin was getting emotional and knelt next to him, taking his soulmate’s hand as tears silently slipped down Gavin’s face. “I’m sorry,” Gavin apologised. “I just-I guess this is all starting to catch up with me,” he confessed. “I’d not really got my head around just how much has changed and I’m only scratching the surface right now. I feel so lost.”

“That’s what I feel too,” Connor admitted. “I’d grown so used to how I’ve existed for the past two and a half years that I’m scared of what this means now. There’s a lot more change to come and I know it’ll be immensely difficult – but I’m sure we’ll manage somehow. We didn’t overcome your Withering and you almost dying for this to beat us now.”

Gavin laughed wetly and couldn’t help himself from pressing his forehead against Connor’s, absorbing the unconditional love that he could see in the android’s eyes. “Yeah, you’re right,” Gavin sighed in agreement. “Thank you, Connor. I wish this could be the easy life you deserve after taking care of me for so long.”

The android shook his head and pecked Gavin softly, the pair enjoying the innocent intimacy, before he pulled away gently. “I didn’t expect my job to be done after you woke up, I knew what I was getting myself into,” he smiled while guiding Gavin towards the sofa. “Besides, I’m not the only one who looks after you. We have two home helpers, Francesca and Alex, who come around every day at least once to assist with some of the more labour intensive tasks, while our family also chips in. Without all of them I’d never have managed this far.”

“I’ll bet,” Gavin smiled softly. “Speaking of which, I guess we’d better start telling people that I’m actually awake, huh? I’m kind of curious as to how everyone is going to react.”

“As am I, but I’m sure it will be unanimous delight along with a myriad of other emotions,” Connor said knowingly. “Shall we invite them around here? I know we could get Hank and Nines for sure and I’m positing that Tina could manage to slip away for a while if she tells Fowler it’s due to me, he’s always been great about letting anyone take some time to help if I need another pair of hands.”

Gavin wondered if Connor and the others knew why Fowler was so understanding when it came to Withering victims, but that was a question for another time. For now he nodded in agreement and watched as Connor busied himself with tidying a little before their company arrived. Turned out that Hank and Nines were off for the day to allow Hank some time to catch up on sleep – Gavin laughed when he heard about the pair’s poor luck with air travel had struck again – and Connor had been right, Tina managed to get away for a portion of the morning since there wasn’t too much happening at the precinct beyond the usual. Hearing about how everyone had changed was giving Gavin plenty to mull over and occupy the time as he waited nervously for the others to appear at the front door.

“So Teenie’s finally a detective now?” he grinned. “How long did it take for that to happen?”

“Eight months,” Connor said proudly, remembering just how much Tina had thrown herself into her work after Gavin’s near death experience. “She pestered Fowler non-stop to throw her on to the hardest cases that were out there, eventually he partnered her with Hank for a while since I wasn’t at the precinct often enough to be considered his official partner anymore. She found the link that brought down an android trafficking ring and Hank gave her full credit for the investigation being a success. It was only a matter of time after that.”

“Atta girl,” Gavin beamed widely.

“If you ask her about it when she arrives, she won’t tell you about it though. She’ll brag instead about how she managed to get Chris to Detective six months ago thanks to an undercover op,” Connor smiled, laughing at Gavin’s jaw falling open in shock.

“Chris too? Damn, that’s got to be something of a record for the precinct!”

“Actually, you’ve still got that record by 9 days, Chris was a little gutted when he found that out,” Connor said fondly. “He’s an excellent detective as well, though he’s moved to Twelfth now since they’ve expanded to become an android crimes based precinct. It only made sense thank to Catriona.”

“Catriona?”

Connor’s eyes widened in shock – he’d totally forgotten that Gavin wouldn’t know about how Chris’ family had rapidly expanded. “Oh of course, you don’t know: Catriona is Chris and Beth’s third child, she’s a YK500.”

Gavin’s eyes widened again. “Whoa, back up. Chris and Beth have **three** kids now?!”

“Yes. Damien’s a big brother to Arianna and Catriona, though Catriona’s the largest of them physically since she’s modelled after an eight year old,” Connor chuckled. “Damien thinks it’s cool that he has a baby sister that he’s going to grow bigger than though: Damien is the reason that Chris and Beth decided to adopt Catriona. She was almost another Vivienne that was saved a few months after you fell asleep, but Jericho fortunately found her before she was hurt too badly. Her parents didn’t make it, so Jericho were sheltering her as they looked for another family.

“It just so happened that Chris was with Nines when he went to check up on her and offered to look after her for a while. Once Damien connected with her though, Chris and Beth decided to adopt her.”

“Good on them,” Gavin smiled. “I’m looking forward to meeting all of them. Has Teenie…?”

“She’s still single and proud,” Connor chuckled, “but she’s been on a few dates with an ST300 named Holly. They seem to be hitting it off but are taking things slow. I think Tina’s scared since she’s discovered that she has a soulmate now, but hasn’t met them.”

Gavin’s breath hitched and unconscious fear rolled through him. He couldn’t help but reflexively clench his left fist as his body recalled all the pain of his own Withering. No wonder Tina was scared having seen what he went though, even if all of it was a horrendous misunderstanding and an accident. “Does she know anything about them?” he whispered, to which Connor was glad he could help reassure Gavin.

“He’s a human, we know that since he’s a baby that has been growing in Tina’s Garden,” Connor told him softly. “So it will probably be many years before she meets him. Most likely she never will since there is 36 years between them, but it could be a possibility in 15 or some years. Her reaction is my fault,” he added despairingly, to which Gavin reached out a hand and squeezed as best he could.

“Don’t do that to yourself, Con,” Gavin scolded with a sad note in his voice. “She’s seen both sides of it now, yeah? Tina’s seen me Wither, and she’s seen Hank and Nines become soulmates. Not everyone who are soulmates are meant to be romantic and so long as they’re open to talking, I doubt she’ll fall into the same nightmare we did. If I’d actually talked to your, rather than assume, then it would have probably made things a lot better, so this doesn’t rest on you. I was an architect in my own slide to where we are now.”

Connor nodded in slight acceptance but Gavin could see his words weren’t going to be enough. There was so much guilt swimming in the android’s eyes and that had been there for **years** …Fuck, shifting that was going to be one hell of a challenge.

A knock at the door surprised both of them and Blossom started barking and wiggling excitedly. Connor quickly scanned the door and realised it was Hank and Nines who had arrived first. Giving another squeeze to Gavin’s hand, Connor looked towards the sofa. “Would you rather be here than in the wheelchair while they are here?”

Gavin could guess why Connor was asking: at least on the sofa his frailties weren’t so obvious. Nodding, Gavin allowed Connor to shift him across and unclipped the two IV bags that would take some time before there were removed, since Gavin’s body functions were still readjusting after his awakening, from the wheelchair to rest on a small stand next to the sofa. Cleo gave a disgruntled meow as she was shifted temporarily but rapidly reclaimed her place on Gavin’s lap, purring as she snuggled in again.

“Wow, I don’t think I’ve ever met such a clingy cat,” he laughed as Connor moved the wheelchair away. “Is she always like this?”

“Just with you, she adores you. Most other people can’t get near her,” Connor chuckled, giving Gavin a kiss to the cheek as he pulled back to look at his soulmate seriously. “Ready for this?”

“Ready as I’ll ever be. Let them in, Con.”

Safe to say the two reactions were pretty much the farthest thing Gavin had been expecting.

What he’d been predicting, Gavin wasn’t sure, but it certainly wasn’t the bright smile which came to Nines’ face as soon as Connor opened the door and let them see Gavin sitting up on the sofa, greeting the pair with a shy wave. Nines quickly made his way across the room and sat to embrace Gavin in a careful hug, which Gavin hadn’t realised he’d been needing. A startled huff escaped him and he returned the gesture and Gavin smiled when he heard the heartfelt ‘welcome back’ in his ear.

Hank too was open in how happy he was to see Gavin returned, but he didn’t express it in quite the same way. He instead pressed a hand to Gavin’s shoulder and squeezed in warmly before heading through to the kitchen to make some drinks. Gavin finally saw why Blossom had been so excited when the retriever bounded around Sumo, the old St Bernard lumbering his way through to the thick rug across from the sofa and settling down on top of it. She wiggled her way in next to him and after a couple of attempts to get him to play were rebuffed, she snuggled in for a cuddle instead. Gavin couldn’t help but laugh.

“Those two get along then,” he commented as Hank came back with a green tea for Gavin and a coffee for himself, everyone rearranging themselves on the long corner sofa so that there was space for all of them. Nines shifted along so that Connor could sit next to Gavin again as the married couple took up station along the other arm. They both smiled as Connor linked his fingers with Gavin’s and the android’s synthskin peeled away, letting a warm blue glow rest between them.

Gavin shivered a little as the energy pulsed up his whitened arm and held Connor’s hand tighter, relishing the sensations. Connor gave an extra burst of emotions through, which translated as a stronger surge from where they were connected, which had Gavin smiling at him more. He had to wonder if anyone else out there could actually experience this type of bond.

“It’s good to see you up and about again, Gavin. Took your sweet time in getting your lazy ass out of bed,” Hank smirked. Nines rolled his eyes at the comment but Gavin just laughed, appreciating the humour.

“What can I say? I had a lot of sleep to be catching up on,” he smiled back, glad when Connor attempted to join in with a slight upturn of his mouth as well. “Seems like you two have been keeping yourselves busy. What’s this I hear about a spite marriage so that the world can go fuck itself, if I quoted that right?”

Hank snickered as Nines sighed. “Close enough,” the android commented while looking at his husband fondly. “We certainly didn’t intend it originally, Hank had mentioned before that he wasn’t interested in getting married again and I wasn’t exactly a fan of the concept – but it has made a lot of things easier from a legal perspective. I’m not enjoying the publicity of being the most senior and/or famous human-android marriage out there, but it has helped others. Plus I take great amusement from all the hate that is posted around social media and coming up with responses.”

Now Gavin was morbidly curious. “Dare I ask what you write back to the trolls?” he asked with a hesitant edge, not expecting Hank to smirk wider and nod towards the tablet on the table in front of them. Nines picked it up and interfaced with it, bringing up a page that Gavin realised belonged to Nines on an android technologies forum. They even targeted him on there? Once he looked through a dozen or so replies though, Gavin was creasing. “Oh my god, Nines. How does an android become a master of finding sarcastic GIFs and memes to just shoot all the keyboard warriors down?”

“It helps that Nines takes a genuine sadistic glee in seeing how many replies he gets from the original victim,” Connor smiled. “I don’t think I could do it, I’m not the best at letting the negativity bounce off me, but Nines revels in seeing what reactions he can garner.”

“The more petty and personal the arguments become, the better it is for android rights,” Nines pointed out. “If their only point gets backed up with insults, their original argument loses all weight as they can’t back it up. Simple debating logic.”

Hank lounged back on the arm of the sofa with an impressed smile. “Nines would put most negotiators to shame, I tell you. He’s deadly and pinpoint with his words. Having no sense of humour has its advantages.”

Nines rolled his eyes and looked at Hank in disdain. “I don’t have ‘zero’ sense of humour, I just reserve it for those I actually deem worthy of it.”

“You mean the people you want to troll or prank, Nines. You enjoy playing up to the cold, impersonal machine persona nowadays,” Hank winked at him, to which Nines shrugged innocently. Gavin couldn’t help smiling at their interactions. It was easy to see just how comfortable the two of them were with each other and he envied it a little. They weren’t just lovers, they were fiercely close friends too.

No wonder they’d ended up as soulmates through their own making.

“How’ve you found waking up again?” Hank asked more seriously, turning the conversation back to the elephant in the room. There was only so long they could talk around it.

“Utter shit,” Gavin admitted, giving Connor’s hand a squeeze when he felt the android freeze a little. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m really glad that I’m here and I’ll actually have the chance to build a life with Connor now, but given where we’re starting from…Fuck’s sake, it’s like I blinked and suddenly everything’s different.

“Last I was aware, I was in a lot of pain and getting breathless more often thanks to purging my dying organs so much, but that was it? I was still relatively healthy and independent. Now though? My legs are like goddamn twigs from not moving for so long and I can barely lift a cup, let alone anything heavy. I can feel my lungs now, since Con’s told me they are partially cybernetic, and the whirring is so fucking strange…Not to mention that I’m in an entirely new home, stuck in a wheelchair, no job and living with someone who I’m so indebted to that I haven’t the faintest clue where to start in repaying him.”

Gavin’s expression clouded over as he looked at Connor, who seemed just as emotional. “Yeah, you could say it’s a lot,” he finished tightly, turning his gaze to the floor.

Nines sat forward and look at Gavin seriously. “Had you been reacting any differently, I would have accused you of lying to yourself,” the RK900 declared with a knowing edge to his voice. “This is an enormous change, Gavin, and like you said – none of us can understand it from your point of view. It would be like all of us forgetting the last two and a half years and jumping into an entirely new life. For now you’ll feel like you only have one jigsaw piece out of one ten thousand, and not realising just how many pieces you are missing.”

“He’s right,” Hank added reassuringly. “No-one’s expecting you two to just be right as rain now that you’re awake, Gavin. This is going take a hell of a lot of time for you two to figure out what is going on between the two of you, let alone how you’re going to reintegrate with the world around you. We’ll help get you up to speed about things as much as we can, but it’s not an overnight fix. It’ll take time.”

Connor reached for Gavin’s other hand and took it, causing the human to look up at him sullenly. “We’ll figure it out,” he whispered, sending extra pulses of love from where they were interfacing. “It’s going to be hard and I don’t think we’ve truly realised what it means for you to be back yet…but we will. I’m scared, but ready to face it.”

Hearing that Connor was just as fearful of what might be coming helped Gavin a lot and he nodded while burying his face into the android’s neck again, allowing himself that brief moment to have a breakdown while burying the rest down. Not while Hank and Nines were there, that could all happen later.

Before it spiralled anymore, however, there was another knock at the door and they all shared a look at realising who it was. Connor kissed Gavin’s cheek and left him for a moment to let Tina see inside the room. She stared in stunned silence for a second before charging inside and all but full-body tackling Gavin through her tirade.

“I am so going to kick your ass, Gavin fucking Reed! Two and a half years I’ve been waiting for you to wake up so I can scream at you, you stupid bastard! I’m gonna-I’m gonna…”

She finally broke down into a flood of relieved sniffles and that was it, Gavin had no chance of holding his own back now. Gavin laughed and held Tina just as tightly as he whispered back to her roughly, letting his tears run silently into her hair as the others watched with smiles.

“I missed you too, Teenie.”


	2. Long Road Ahead

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so happy to see so many familiar names back for the second stage of this journey! :D Welcome back all of you!
> 
> For anyone who is new to this series, thank you for joining along with this emotional rollercoaster. 
> 
> At the moment I'm not entirely sure how long this fic is going to be, my gut says around 10-12 chapters so long as another plot bunny doesn't bite hehe.
> 
> Time for a more in depth glimpse to this new world! 
> 
> Spoiler: it's not a good one.

Once everyone had left the house, Gavin took some time just to catch his breath. Seeing all the differences in everyone, from his last memories to now, was incredibly jarring.

Some people looked much better two and half years later – it was clear to see that Hank and Nines were well settled and enjoying life, even if it was busy – while Tina also seemed like she had grown in self assuredness, though there was definite sadness which tinged it. No doubt from Gavin’s Slumber and all that she’d been doing to help Connor with his care. Melissa even managed to come around for a little while and Gavin had been blown away with what a fine young woman she was becoming.

Tina’s niece had always been sweet, but she was also a lot more fiery and determined than he remembered her. That had been one of the more startling changes considering Melissa was in high school last Gavin remembered.

What had hurt the most though, was Connor.

Even though you could see the joy on the android’s face and hear it in his voice, he still got looks that Gavin could see meant that Connor was lost in memories, or still swallowed by his guilt and depression. Seeing just how deeply that damage went was hard, but he knew he wasn’t much better. Right now everything was still a little numb after his recent reawakening, but it was going to slam home fully in the near future he was sure.

After their company had left for the night, Connor took a seat next to Gavin again and smiled at his soulmate softly. “Would you like to go out for a trip around the block, Gavin? See the outside for a bit rather than be confined to the house?” Connor asked gently.

“Nah, I’m good in here,” Gavin answered roughly, grateful that Connor had phrased the question quite delicately. In his own mind Gavin had wondered why Connor hadn’t just asked ‘ _would you like to go for a walk?’_ before his brain caught up. Walking was currently beyond him, so it was probably a good thing that Connor hadn’t asked **that** question. “Might feel a little more up to it tomorrow, I just feel like sleeping right now.”

Connor nodded in acceptance before standing to start locking down the house for the rest of the day. Gavin was surprised that Connor was willing to do that at barely gone midday, but then he remembered something that he’d heard about those who suffered from depression. Time of day didn’t really mean anything to someone if they had no will to face the world, something he could empathise with a little from his Withering. The very first concept he’d lost all comprehension of was time, so maybe he could understand slightly.

In fact, attempting to sleep was scaring him a little given that the last time he’d slept meant that Gavin had lost two and half years. An irrational part of his mind was stuck on that fact, and couldn’t quite shift from the fear of losing even more time all over again.

When Connor was finishing with his round of the floor and had set down more food for Cleo, he then picked Gavin up again and carried his soulmate through to their bedroom. After he’d been set down, Gavin stared in surprised when he saw Connor set about changing him with practised hands. It made sense as Connor had no doubt been doing this for years, but it was a weird thing for Gavin to now witness. “I thought you said we get home help for this sort of thing?” Gavin asked gently, to which Connor nodded.

“We do, but not until tomorrow morning again when Francesca will be back around,” Connor explained as reality suddenly slammed into him. He’d been doing this for so long that he’d completely forgotten that this was a personal boundary he and Gavin hadn’t actually crossed consciously. While Connor was used to seeing Gavin in various states, it was no doubt going to be very alarming for Gavin to be changed by someone else. “I’m sorry, I didn’t think. I’m just-This has been part of my daily routines with you for so long that I-”

“Shhhh, Con, it’s okay,” Gavin reassured, reaching out for the android’s hand. “Just shocked me a little is all. It’s not a bad thing, honest. I won’t be able to undress myself properly, I realise that,” Gavin stated a little sadly before offering Connor a shaky smile. “Help me? Please?”

Now with permission given, Connor felt a lot better about going back to his task. It took a little careful manoeuvring and some testing of Gavin’s capabilities to get him out of his tracksuit bottoms and t-shirt, shifting instead to something that was more suitable for long-term sleep. Gavin was surprised when Connor helped to slip some tight leggings on, and was even more surprised when he felt a low-level electric hum emanate from them.

“Heat-based technology, much like your holo-gloves,” Connor explained while fetching Gavin a fresh sleep shirt. “It’s a gentle vibration combined with low-frequency supersonics which stimulates muscle contraction. While you might have lost all of the strength in your legs, at least the muscles haven’t seized at the sudden new movements. This was developed by Jericho to help all of those who were stuck in Slumber.” The android paused before reaching out for Gavin’s whitened hand and taking a firm grip of it. “Let me know if it’s uncomfortable, you’ve always been asleep before so I don’t know…”

“I like it,” Gavin answered honestly. “Reminds me a little bit of the back massagers that were a thing years ago? Just a gentle hum which is making everything feel a little bit better, more relaxed – as crazy as that sounds. This is good, Con, feel free to keep them on.” They would probably keep him awake for a while, but that wasn’t a bad thing. At least now Gavin was only liable to pass out when he was absolutely done and the fear wasn’t so debilitating.

Now that he was in a bed again, that terror of sleeping was coming to the fore. Connor must have sensed or scanned something because his synthskin peeled back and the android started an interface without so much as being asked. The sudden warmth from the contact did ease Gavin’s panic a little, but it wasn’t so easy to chase away totally.

At Connor’s patient and slightly pleading look, Gavin laughed brokenly. “Fuck’s sake, I’m just being silly…” he groused, but Connor wasn’t going to give up that easily.

“There’s no such thing, Gavin. Something has scared you, and I want to make sure I can make you as at ease as possible,” Connor told him softly while sitting closer. “Please tell me, I’d much rather know than preconstruct all of the possibilities. There’s so many that it scares me as to what could be causing you distress.”

Hearing Connor’s obviously nervous tone broke down what little resistance Gavin had and he reached out towards his soulmate in a slight lean. Connor picked up on the silent request instantly and wrapped them in a hug, though he kept the interface going through Gavin’s white hand so that the human would still have that security. “I know it doesn’t happen like that, but I’m- I’m awake now, I don’t want to fall asleep again and miss out on anything,” he confessed. “I’m two and half years out of touch, Connor. I feel like a stranger even with all of those that you clearly are so close to. **We** are close to, somehow.”

Understanding where Gavin was coming from, Connor pressed a feather light kiss to the other man’s cheek. “You aren’t the only one scared of that, Gavin,” he admitted. “I’m also stuck on the worry that you might suddenly be pulled away from me again, but there is one thing that will help, I hope.”

“Which is?”

“We have our Garden. We’ll still be together there, even if we’re asleep. If you want it, that is.”

Gavin pulled back long enough to kiss Connor properly, pouring some of his fears into that action before looking at the android again gratefully. “I absolutely want that. I-I want you with me there, at least for a little while. People say that being with your other half all of the time is not healthy, that even being together in sleep is possibly the worst thing we could be doing but I…I need you with me, Connor. Please, come with me into the Garden.”

The two spent a fair amount of time in that quiet embrace before finally settling down. Connor made sure to stay out of stasis until Gavin finally succumbed to sleep, setting an alarm for early the next morning in case they remained asleep for that long, only following his soulmate into rest once he could see that Gavin was comfortable.

Reuniting in the Garden was very much a relief to the pair of them: and for those few hours they could enjoy their brief respite before they had to face their new reality again.

* * *

As it turned out, Connor did in fact need his alarms the next day as both of them lost track of time in the Garden. Between just lazing about talking, taking another boat ride or simply ambling around (since Gavin could in the Garden), they were so engrossed in each other that they’d forgotten all about what lay beyond their safe haven. Connor was pulled from the Garden quickly as his alarm went, and the brief panic of his soulmate vanishing jolted Gavin out of his slumber too.

When they realised that they had slept for almost 15 hours, neither could believe it. 

Still, they had decided that much needed done on Gavin’s second day after his return. First order of business was to call Chris and speak with the other man properly – he knew Gavin was awake but had kept his distance, figuring that Gavin would have had a busy enough day previously from what Tina had passed along – after which they needed to talk to Fowler.

Funnily enough, Gavin was actually looking forward to that call. It would be good to give the older man some good news about Withering for once, after all of the heartache he’d seen and experienced. As fragile and crippled Gavin was currently, he was still in actuality a success story. He was someone that had been at death’s door with Withering and lived to see the other side.

The fact that his survival was all done to Connor was a large part of that truth, but he was slowly coming to terms with the fact he was a phenomenon. What everyone else was going to say when he met with those he knew…he hadn’t the faintest idea. He absently wondered if his brothers had ever found out about what happened to him. That was a question for later, though.

Chris’ reaction was fantastic and Gavin had never felt more grateful for the man being so easy going. He’d not made a massive deal about it despite his obvious delight, instead offering for them to meet somewhere for coffee or a meal. There were even restaurants that had come up with thirium based food and drink now, so it was somewhere that both Connor and Chris’ daughter could enjoy. They didn’t decide anything firmly, but Chris promised to call them again later in the day for a more in depth catch up once he was off duty.

After Connor walked Blossom, enjoying his daily routine with her as Alex came over and introduced himself for the morning ritual of helping Gavin (the home help had cut short his vacation at hearing the news of Gavin’s awakening), the pair made a point of phoning Fowler together. Connor had been due for a check in at the precinct anyway, so it timed out nicely.

Gavin had never seen Fowler be truly stunned before in his life, but that was an image he wasn’t likely to forget. The pair were surprised that none of their friends had shared the news, but maybe they’d figured that Connor and Gavin wanted to tell Fowler themselves. Once the shock had worn off, Fowler extended a heartfelt ‘welcome back’ that had the human getting a little misty eyed.

Then Fowler asked if they would be willing to meet, preferably at the precinct, so that he could speak to them both at length.

While Connor’s reaction was very telling - in that he thought it was a bad idea - there was a part of Gavin that was determined to see what had changed. He couldn’t hide from all of the differences between when he’d last seen the world and now, but he wasn’t going to push Connor either. Gavin felt a little guilty when Connor agreed to escort him down despite Gavin telling him that he’d ask someone else, but at the same time he was glad. With all of what was going on in his mind and with the new weakness in his body, he’d be relieved to have Connor close at hand.

It was only once they arrived that Gavin realised he should have worked out there was more to Connor’s reticence than simply their personal life being thrust into the spotlight – but by then it was too late.

The new receptionist actually refused them entry at first without Connor signing Gavin in, since he was now a civilian after resigning all those years ago, and was also rather rude when Connor pointed out they had an appointment with Fowler. Tina, angel that she was, ripped the man a new one and even called in a favour from her pseudo-girlfriend to get them through the gate without any more drama. 

Even with that little snippet, Gavin could tell that Holly was definitely someone who could handle and bring out the best in Tina. That small moment of brightness didn’t mask some of the vitriol that had been spouted to Connor during their altercation though. Hearing the words had shocked Gavin to his core.

**_Why should I believe you? No-one here is willing to listen to a murderer._ **

“Hey, Con? Did the precinct believe that I was dead?” Gavin asked after they made it though, Connor quickly wheeling Gavin over to where Hank and Tina’s desks were based. Gavin was surprised to see that Connor's old desk was where Tina was now set up, but then he remembered what Connor had said about the two being partners for a while. Perhaps that was still the case?

Connor let out a tight smile as he nodded. “Many still do,” he stated quietly. “Since you were inside the research hospital for so long and I was…indisposed, many stories made the rounds. While those close to us tried to spread the truth, there was a core group who believed it all to be a cover up for your death by Withering. Even Captain Fowler’s interventions did little,” Connor admitted. “That is part of the reason I left.”

Hearing how Connor had been targeted made Gavin’s heart feel heavy. He’d wanted Connor to be spared from any of the crap that humans were liable to spout out of fear and judgmentalism, but he couldn’t help wondering if his silence had made things worse. “How did people find out about us? Who told everyone that I was Withering and how it happened?”

“Fowler had to tell everyone why you’d suddenly left.” The pair turned to see Nines standing nearby with a tight smile, offering Gavin a green tea while leaning against the edge of Tina’s desk. “Stories were abounding when you’d been gone for so long, it reached the point where the Captain had to share some of the story. At that point it was still very touch and go as to whether they’d be able to rebuild your lungs and give you a fighting chance, it unfortunately meant that more of the story was told than would have been preferable.”

“He had to tell everyone that you’d been Withering,” Connor added despondently. “With it timing out exactly as I took a leave of absence from the precinct for mental health issues…it didn’t take long for people to put the two events together. Of course the cynicism surrounding androids having difficulty with mental health didn’t help my cause. Some accused me of using the time to try and get over the guilt of being a killer.”

Gavin was appalled. His fists clenched angrily from within his lap and he wished he had enough strength to kick the shit out of anyone that had dared talk to Connor that way. “Surely somebody realised it was a fucking accident when I was still alive?!” he yelped a little louder than he should have, drawing even more attention that they already had. 

Connor had wheeled Gavin to their little safe haven very quickly and positioned Gavin away from all of the stares. The former detective was unaware of how much he was being looked at in shock and borderline paranoia, but the two androids knew. Nines sent out menacing glares to anyone that was staring too long as Connor answered Gavin. “Since nobody could see you, a lot of people believed it was a cover up. Up until we came in today I expect probably a third of those that knew you before were adamant that you were dead, and a number of those who have come here since will be in the same boat from the stories told.”

“Like a motherfucking children’s playground,” Gavin hissed in anger, furious to think that so many had turned their backs on Connor. He’d always been one of the most loved members of the precinct. For everyone to cast him as a villain, for lack of a better word, and ostracise him was just so…

Maybe it was just as well Gavin wasn’t working here anymore – he wasn’t convinced he could stomach being alongside anyone who fell into that camp.

“Reed! Get your ass in here!”

The bullpen went deadly quiet at the shout across the room, stares being directed in one of two distinct directions. Some were looking at Captain Fowler as if he’d grown another head while others were keeping their gazes locked on the small party at the other side. After a few awkward seconds, Fowler’s patience grew thin and he snapped at everyone who was hovering. “This ain’t a damn circus act, people! Get back to your damn jobs!”

With that moment having now broken, Hank emerged from Fowler’s office and strode down the steps with a fearsome look on his face. Seeing the Lieutenant emerge with such a stony expression finally got people moving, but a few braver souls decided to square up to the older man. Nines pointedly ignored the show and helped by taking Gavin’s wheelchair across the floor, Connor right at Gavin’s side. The stairs leading up to Fowler’s office had now been changed to being convertible to an electronic ramp – something that Gavin was grateful for. He’d totally not thought about stairs until now.

Just another limitation he was going to have to get used to for the time being.

Nines ushered Connor to take Gavin at the top of the ramp and left the pair with a warm smile, away from the view of everyone else, before it evaporated into something much stonier as the glass door was closed and the android strode back into the bullpen. Before the pair could really get an idea of what Nines was about to do, the glass of the office went opaque and Fowler stood from his desk to greet the pair properly. “Well, you two are definitely a sight for sore eyes. It’s good to see you, especially you, Gavin.”

Gavin offered Fowler a grateful smile as the captain approached and the pair shook hands. It was clear to tell that the last two and half years hadn’t treated Fowler well, he looked at least another 5 to 10 years older. While Gavin had always thought Fowler didn’t show anywhere close to his age, now he looked decidedly beyond his years. It was a sad sight, and somewhat of a shock to the system. “Thanks, Fowler. It’s…I’m sure you won’t be surprised to hear that it’s more than a little strange, waking up after so long,” Gavin admitted as the captain pulled one of the seats over to sit next to the pair, offering Connor the other one.

“I can only imagine how weird it is to wake up two and a half years later, especially when you weren’t expecting to wake up again at all. Thanks for coming down here, both of you. I’m sorry that we have so many assholes in this precinct who wouldn’t know what tact and decentness are if it smacked them in the damn face,” Fowler huffed in annoyance, which had Connor smiling tightly.

“It’s fine, Captain. Nothing that I’m not used to,” Connor stated in an attempt to diffuse the situation, but Fowler was having none of it.

“I’m not just going to watch as one of my finest damn people gets bullied in this precinct for a lies that were spread after a fucking **accident** ,” the captain snapped. “At least with some of it on the cameras we can start looking at more legal action to have them disciplined again, but that’s not why asked you here.”

Gavin could see how Connor’s eyes shadowed a little and he was curious as to that reaction, but Fowler went on before he could press the issue. “I wanted to talk to the both of you about your various options now that you’re awake, Gavin. A lot has changed since you went to sleep again and some of that might come in helpful now.”

Leaning over to his desk, Fowler grabbed a blue envelope with a tablet inside and held it out for Gavin to take. “Since Withering survivors are a thing now, you’ve got some legal rights with your rehabilitation and future employment rights. Have a read of all that.”

More than a little confused, Gavin looked to Connor who seemed just as perplexed. Opening the envelope, Gavin pulled out the tablet and had a read of the contents. As he kept scouring the page, however, it was becoming very apparent that this wasn’t just a general list of rights for a Withering survivor.

_Intensive physiotherapy, exertion testing, compulsory counselling appointments, routine monitoring of cybernetic reparations, official access reinstated to DPD systems-_

He was so in shock that Gavin didn’t notice as Connor pulled out the other folded paper that had been inside the envelope. Crinkled around the edges from being fingered and slightly yellowed with age, as Connor unfolded it to see the contents was when Gavin began to get overwhelmed. 

It was Gavin’s resignation letter from years ago - it had never been stamped as official notice of Gavin’s employment being terminated.

“What is this?” he asked with a tight voice.

Fowler understood the emotion and gave a second envelope to Connor with another tablet, which the android swiftly interfaced with. “You both have access to the rehabilitation program that has been set up with the help of Jericho, at the expense of the DPD,” he explained. “Withering survivors must have at least one android component of the soulbond, so legally you two now have some rights to protect you as we now know a lot more about how Withering works from before. I won’t explain all of it right now, to be honest Hank and Nines are probably best doing that since this pilot was their brainchild.

“The long and short of it is…Connor, so long as you agree to go to more intensive counselling and step up your attendance at the precinct, I can have you reinstated as one of my full time detectives rather than a remote worker. I might even be able to have you assigned with Hank, or perhaps Tina depending on how long it takes for you to be reintegrated to our team.” Fowler then turned to Gavin with a slightly warmer smile.

“Since your resignation wasn’t voluntary, Gavin, instead being a result of what was originally thought to be a terminal illness, you have the chance to come back on to the force. You’ll go through some rigorous testing and would need to be deemed safe to work in the field, but there is the option to have you reinstated as a full-time detective rather than being inactive as you are currently listed.” The captain’s expression then fell slightly. 

“I’m not sure whether it would be possibly given how much trauma your body went through, but I know you’d try your damnedest to get back. If it’s deemed that you are not suitable for field work in the future then we will be able to hire you back on as a civilian consultant, though you would have no legal powers of arrest or interrogation. It would be as an assistance in the precinct only.”

Even the little that Fowler had explained was almost too much for Gavin to take on board. “Are you saying that I might be able to have a job again?” he asked quietly.

“Yes,” Fowler answered with a nod. “You’ve got 18 months to prove your field fitness before a decision is taken, but either way there is an option for you to be rehired by the DPD, Gavin. There is also the option for you not to take the offer, but as part of it the DPD can recommend physiotherapists and counsellors. All of them are part of the Jericho Initiative which has been working with other Withering survivors over the years. While survivors are few and far between nowadays, there were a few cases back when everything was so new. Some have also been asleep for a very long time and only recently awoken. If you want to know more, I’d suggest talking to Nines. He at the very least will be able to give you more information.”

Both Connor and Gavin were a little overwhelmed. They were absorbing all of the implications of what was being offered to them before Connor turned to the frosted glass. His expression pinched as he listened to what was happening outside: Gavin could only assume it wasn’t great conversation. “For now I’m not convinced I could accept on my side, Captain,” Connor said tightly. “I’m not entirely sure that my presence would be a help, rather than a distraction. I have other reservations too.”

“Yeah, I figured you might,” Fowler sighed. “I’m not needing a decision today, but I will need one by the end of this week. It’s not an indefinite offer, sadly. Don’t rush into anything, you’ll definitely have to read through all of the documentation as there are a few caveats with the deal, but I’d be delighted to have two of my most talented detectives back. Both on a professional and personal level.”

Hearing that admission had Gavin smiling and, in a moment of bravery, he pulled off his gloves to show his whitened hand as he extended it to Fowler. “Thanks for having our backs, Cap. I…I really appreciate it, and all that you did for me before. I’ve not had the chance to learn about everything that’s happened while I’ve been asleep but I know you’ve supported Connor. That means a lot to me.”

Rather than stare at the white hand, Fowler just shook the offered appendage. “Was the least I could do: and I’m beyond relieved to see that the two of you have a chance at exploring a life together now. Hopefully now that you’re awake, Gavin, the two of you can start to heal after all that happened.”

Gavin could tell that Fowler’s statement was very true. Connor had been stuck in limbo for years taking care of him and the magnitude of that sacrifice hadn’t truly hit Gavin yet; that was something that would take a little time since the world at large was still so overwhelming. 

The road onwards was going to be shit…but now there was at least a firm goal to aim for. That was something to cling to when the urge to give up inevitably reared its ugly.


	3. Starting Afresh

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm glad that all of you felt anger at poor Connor's workplace situation, he's in a rough spot.
> 
> There's more on that coming up here, and some supportive Hank+Nines to help both Gavin and Connor out.
> 
> They're making baby steps, but it's still very early days in their healing.

It was just as well that the meeting with Fowler went well…cause everything else about the precinct was truly shit as far as Gavin was concerned. He couldn’t believe just how much had changed since he was last there, and it gave him a lot to think about before potentially accepting the offer of DPD sponsored rehabilitation.

Firstly, there were not a lot of faces left that Gavin recognised. With all the shifting thoughts surrounding androids and people falling on definitive sides of the argument with regards their rights, it meant that as less pro-android individuals were left at the precinct (through a multitude of reasons) it left others that were less along the lines of what Gavin would consider _suitable_ people to take their place.

Connor’s replacement in the homicide division was a prime example of that. Just ten minutes of listening to the bitch’s domineering attitude had Gavin wanting to find the nearest book and shove it in her mouth – unlike many of the new officers and detectives though, she actually knew who he was. That led to an awkward staring competition before she glowered at his whitened hand, then proceeded to storm off. It was beyond bizarre and Gavin felt really uncomfortable until Hank wandered up to reassure both he and Connor.

“Ignore Matthews, she’s a cow,” he huffed before taking over from Connor for a bit to wheel Gavin to an interview room at the side of the bullpen. Not quite complete privacy, but it meant that they were not in instant line of sight. “That bitch was clearly raised in a very conservative family who can’t accept anything beyond their supposed ‘teachings’. If it ain’t what she considers right, it’s wrong. Only sees things in black and white, which is a fucking pain in the ass to work with.”

Gavin snorted and shuffled in the chair slightly, starting to get a little uncomfortable. He’d not sat in it for so long until now and he was aching. Spying Gavin’s discomfort, Connor helped to shift him from the wheelchair carefully to another chair nearby, making sure not to dislodge either of the IV’s still hooked up to Gavin. They’d managed to secure them to Gavin’s torso earlier that day (in an effort to keep Gavin’s condition a little more discrete) but it meant that Connor had to be more careful in lifting him.

Once Gavin was settled in a more padded chair and shot his soulmate a grateful look, the former detective then turned to Hank again. “Yeah, she gave that impression,” Gavin stated while crossing his arms as best he could and trying to seem a little less fragile than he actually was. Might be a bit superficial, but it made him feel better at that moment. “You really put up with that shit?”

“Don’t have a choice, sadly. Was brought in on orders from someone above Fowler, he didn’t get the option. At least with her under my command her antics only get to go so far. You should have seen her face the day she found out Nines and I were married. Holy fuck, I wish I could print that out and frame it somewhere. Thought she was gonna combust.”

Connor smiled at the imagery his preconstruction software was generating, no doubt, and Gavin knew he’d have to pester Connor to show him that later. “I bet the whole place’s reactions were something else once they knew you and Nines got hitched. Especially as you two fucking eloped. Speaking of which, that doesn’t cause any problems with you two here?”

“Nah, Nines and I aren’t in the same reporting line and he’s not even technically employed by the DPD, even if he spends a lot of time here still as a Jericho liaison. Much as some people have tried to kick up shit, it’s all good.” Hank smirked as he stood to make some quick hot drinks from the dispenser at the side of the room. Nowhere near as expansive a range as the break room, but it would do the job nicely for just the three of them. At least there was hot water for him to make an instant coffee and herbal tea.

“Not sure I’m liking what I’m seeing here,” Gavin admitted. “As much as I’d like to come back and be a cop again…I don’t think I could do it in this precinct. Too much shit to cope with on top of all my own, I couldn’t hold my temper in check.”

Hank watched as Connor’s hand reached over to take a hold of Gavin’s, but the older man left the two of them for a moment as they discussed. “You want to become a detective again?” Connor asked softly, to which Gavin nodded.

“Hell yeah. I mean- I know there’s so much other shit I’ll have to learn about before I commit to anything, but I don’t know what other career I could pick up, Con,” the human stated sadly. “I couldn’t just sit around the house all day, it would drive me crazy and I hate the thought of all the money you make being spent on **me.** Between all my medical shit, food, water…I guarantee you most of what you earn goes on my ass.”

Connor gave him a reassuring smile. “Not at all, Cleo is the most expensive member of our house. You’ve not see just how much she eats or destroys yet.”

The earnest statement caught Gavin by surprise and he laughed, drawing out a more genuine smile from Connor in return. Seeing a moment to return, Hank came across with a herbal tea for Gavin and settled down into his own chair. “Well, if you really want to think about come back, maybe you should pay a visit over to Chris in Twelfth. That place is a hell of a lot different from ours and you might be surprised by a few of the faces there.”

“No shit?” Gavin asked, curious.

“Twelfth’s become a much bigger precinct, it’s also one of the bases for the SWAT teams. You remember Allen, yeah? His squad’s stationed out there and Chris works with them a lot. They’ve got a few androids in their crew now, you might actually feel a lot more comfortable with them. Might be worth heading down there and getting a look around?”

Gavin and Connor shared a look, it was clear to see that they were both intrigued at what Hank had said. It wouldn’t be anything for that day though, it had already been exhausting enough, but once they were a bit more rested…maybe.

Plus, they already had a lot to talk about at home. Once that was unpacked and processed, then they could think about the next steps.

They were all mildly surprised by Nines wandering in and resting a hand briefly on Gavin’s shoulder, squeezing reassuringly before addressing the group. “If you’re amenable, I’d like to borrow Connor for a few minutes,” the android stated with an easy smile. “I won’t take him for a long, but I’d appreciate running a few things past him.” It suddenly struck Gavin just how much better adapted Nines was to human mannerisms now, compared to two and half years ago. Before he’d still been very reserved, but clearly he was now quite comfortable in what he wanted to express.

“Sure, works for me. I’m good to stay here with Gavin while you two talk,” Hank stated, waiting for the other two to decide. It wasn’t really something that needed a lot of thought, but Connor and Gavin were both feeling a little strung out already. There weren’t a lot of people that would be able to convince them to separate for a bit when vulnerable: but Hank and Nines were part of that select group.

Connor stood and placed a gentle kiss to Gavin’s cheek before he left with Nines, the two androids heading further into the precinct. Once they were out of sight, Hank shut the door to the interview room so that there wouldn’t be any unwelcome ears.

“Shit, was this planned by you and Nines?” Gavin asked jokingly. “Almost feels like an interrogation coming.”

“Hah, hardly,” Hank laughed while sitting down again. “He caught me by surprise as much as you, but I wasn’t one to turn down an opportunity.” The older man’s features softened again and he looked at Gavin in concern. “How are you feeling about all of this, Gavin? Honestly? I can only imagine how much of a mind fuck this is.”

Ah, so that’s what this was about. Well, Gavin couldn’t really blame Hank for asking and he leant back into the chair with a sigh. “It’s not caught up to me yet,” the former detective stated in resignation. “This all still feels a little bit like a dream, and I’m not sure if Con and I spending so much time in our shared Garden is helping that. Everything feels as real in there as it does out here, and in there…Let’s just say I don’t show the physical changes from then to now,” he stated vaguely.

Hank nodded sagely and leant over to rest his head in the palm belonging to the arm that was leaning on the table. “Well that makes sense, but I guess you two are going to be taking some time to find your feet. It feels natural to us since in our heads we know that you two care about and love each other, have done for two and a half years, but from your point of view…You’ve suddenly woken up to a whole new body, world even, and are part of a long term relationship. For someone that hadn’t even consciously kissed their soulmate or known there were shared feeling between you, that must be a fucking crazy change.”

The two of them had known each other for a lot of years: had been pretty close before Hank was promoted to Lieutenant and everything in the older man’s personal life started falling apart with the increased workload. Though they’d drifted, there has always existed a heartfelt connection that they could go to the other with anything that came up. While Gavin hadn’t felt he could burden Hank with his Withering given how Hank’s life had finally started to make a change for the right again…maybe he could be more honest this time around.

“That’s putting it mildly,” Gavin admitted. “How much did Con tell you about what happened between he and I before I fell asleep again?”

“Took a few months before he told us about how you two met in your shared Garden,” Hank said sadly. “He broke down and confessed how he was terrified that what made you **you** was lost when you vanished into ash. I’m glad you didn’t see him after he woke from that brief meeting, Gavin. Connor was distraught and he-Fuck, I’ve never seen him in such a mess from when you fell asleep to when you finally turned a corner in the hospital a few hours later. He was a mess. I don’t think he’d really come to terms with it until he told Nines and I about the Garden: maybe couldn’t, to be honest.”

Gavin’s heart ached at the thought of Connor’s breakdown but he wasn’t surprised. From how mentally shattered Connor was now, it made sense that he’d reacted so extremely. Trauma like that changed someone permanently, he ought to know.

“From that I knew that Connor and I shared some feelings, so coming back and finding out that we were a thing didn’t really scare me. I guess it just kind of sucks that we didn’t get to have a progression?” Gavin told Hank earnestly. “We’ve been essentially plopped into what I’d consider the equivalent of a married couple and I don’t- I wish it was…Fuck.” Gavin stopped himself from rambling and collected his thoughts.

“I like how close we are. I just hate that it feels like we’ve missed so many steps of what a couple should get to experience as they learn about each other.” The younger man’s fist clenched as he looked down at his jeans. “I wish I could take him out to see a film, or even go for a walk down the riverfront with him. Something a shitty as a day out shopping and laughing at all the crazy stuff in store windows! Or maybe a play, I dunno if he’s be into all that…

“There’s so much that we’ve lost out on and I feel bad for Connor,” Gavin said morosely. “As far as I know he wasn’t with anyone before us and **this** is the romance he’s ended up with? It fucking sucks.”

He could see how Hank’s face tightened a little and Gavin knew the older man was no doubt pulling the parallels from that awful fucking time before in his mind. While Gavin was Withering from a completely accidental rejection and dying, he and Nines had been starting up their romance. It hadn’t been overly mushy or sentimental, nothing like the clichéd stories went, but they’d managed to get the full experience.

Dating, learning about each other, choosing to commit to it.

To Gavin it felt like he and Connor had almost been forced together as a couple because of circumstances and he hated that. He wished Connor hadn’t been dealt such a shitty hand and could actually have that journey too. He’d lost out of so many of the best parts.

“Why don’t you ask Con about that then?” Hank suggested. “He might very well be having similar thoughts, you know. I know a long time ago he was worried as to whether you’d want to be romantically involved after all that had happened, since a lot of soulmates aren’t. It was something that he wanted, but after all you’d been though because of him – Connor’s words, not mine – he was scared whether it would impact any future you two had.”

Yeah, Gavin didn’t blame him for that. “Is that common among those who recover from Witherings?” he asked tentatively.

Hank hummed in thought, contemplating, before answering. “It’s more common for the soulmates to end up as friends than lovers,” he said honestly. “It depends on the duos and I don’t think a lot of them would have been lovers anyway, you know yourself that there’s more friendships than couples out there than the stories like to make out, but it can have an impact. The reverse also happens where pairs that might have only been friends become romantically involved. Nines would know more than I do since he’s a literal supercomputer with all of the facts in his head.”

The older mand then sat up and looked at Gavin openly. “Gavin, I just want to make sure that you and Connor are taking the time to explore who you each are now properly. Both you and him, and with what that means to each of you as a pair. If that’s left unresolved it could lead to a lot of problems further down the road and I hope it wouldn’t cause any more stress. I know myself what a mess you can land in if you don’t try to tackle the effects life changing events have on you,” Hank told him sombrely, which made Gavin nod in understanding. Hank didn’t need to say anymore.

“For the record, I think Nines has done you a lot of good,” Gavin said with a slight smile, “and you’ve done the same for him in return. It’s…kind of nice to see that being soulmates and lovers can have its good sides too after seeing so much shit with Con and I.”

That was something Hank didn’t reply to verbally but he did nod. It was helping to get all of this aired out, it wasn’t something that Gavin felt he could speak to Connor about yet. Partially because he didn’t think Connor was ready to hear it, but also that Connor shouldn’t be the one that he told all this to first. They were too close, he really needed some neutral ground to just let rip on.

Maybe he should ask Connor a bit more about whoever he went to therapy for. That might be as good a place as any to start.

Connor and Nines returned only a few minutes later, and Gavin couldn’t believe he was thinking that Connor looked physically tired. The exhaustion was plain to see and since androids didn’t feel that the same way humans did, he could only put it down to the android’s depression. It was time to get out of there for the day, they needed a break and time to process.

As much as it had been worth coming back to see all of what had changed, Gavin wasn’t so sure that it had been a good idea to do it this soon. Maybe he should have taken Connor’s hesitance more seriously, maybe they should have waited until they were both a little more settled with all of the changes in their lives.

Maybe.

If only hindsight was foresight – perhaps then Gavin wouldn’t have made so many shitty life decisions.

* * *

That night had been rough.

Being confronted with the open hostility at the precinct had made Connor completely withdraw and Gavin wasn’t sure how he could bring the android out of his shell. Seeing him acting so hollowed out and timid **hurt** , since he knew Connor hadn’t been that way once. The android used to be so bright and vivid.

Seeing the effect of everything: his Withering, Connor’s own personal trauma, the fucking bullying and ostracization that he’s suffered for something that was an **accident-**

It made Gavin’s blood boil, and his physical limitations were really not helping with trying to get that out. He couldn’t even manage to summon enough strength to form a fist and throw a punch into a pillow, he was still too weak. It was so fucking infuriating.

Going to the Garden helped but Gavin could see Connor was still bothered by whatever was on his mind, it was going to take some time to convince the android to let loose on those thoughts. He wasn’t entirely surprised since Connor had been using this as a coping mechanism for years, but he’d hoped…

Gavin then laughed to himself silently. He’d been thinking earlier that day he wasn’t ready to tell Connor what was on his mind, perhaps Connor was in exactly the same boat.

Rather than trying to draw the android out through words, Gavin led him over to some of the parts of what used to be his side of the Garden to try and help with the restoration. While none of it looked ruined anymore, some of it was still rather bare. They could make a few changes that would make it feel more complete and alive again.

While they were quietly setting up small details like lanterns and ornaments to fill in some of the empty spaces, Gavin decided that this might be his best chance to get Connor to open up a little about what was plaguing him. He wasn’t brave enough to ask outright, but part of being a detective was asking the right questions. Strange that such a technique would come in helpful now, of all times.

“Hey, Con?” Gavin asked, watching as Connor finished tying a lantern to a low hanging branch. With the Garden in early twilight like it was at the moment, the dim lights looked beautiful.

Connor turned to give Gavin a soft smile, but even that seemed weighted. “Is everything all right, Gavin?” he asked, which had Gavin walking over to twine their fingers together. The human noticed how Connor’s eyes were locked to his every step and it gave him a little more clue as to what was on Connor’s mind.

“I’m fine, I just wanted to ask if you’re doing okay? Did Nines say something to you earlier? I’ve not seen you be so quiet since I woke up, not in here at least.”

Watching the android’s face crumple even that tiny amount hurt, but Gavin knew they had to start somewhere. Silence wasn’t going to magically mean everything had gone away or was fixed. “A little, but nothing bad,” Connor replied quietly. “He just asked some pointed questions about the reactions we received when we arrived at the precinct, and he wanted to see my memories of those few minutes.”

“Did you let him see?” Gavin was really hoping that Connor had, but the shake of the head which came next had Gavin swearing internally. “Why not, honey?”

The pet name made Connor’s mouth turn up into a little more of a smile and he moved to hug Gavin instead, needing the closeness. “I don’t want to cause anymore fuss, I know it won’t change anything,” he replied honestly. “A process has already started, I don’t need Nines to be raising anything else with Jericho on my behalf. I’ve caused him enough trouble before already.”

“Con, babe, Nines does it because it’s the right thing to do. That was fucking out of order what happened, I can believe you face that so frequently,” Gavin told him adamantly. “It’s just so wrong. Plus, Nines is family, right? Family looks out for each other.”

A small sigh escaped Connor and he nodded into Gavin’s shoulder. “I know, but-“

“No buts, Con. You’re not a burden and people want to fight for you. Let them, please?”

That seemed to resonate with the android and Gavin could feel him crying silently. It broke something inside Gavin to see his soulmate so hollowed out and used to the abuse, and it made him wonder if Connor felt he deserved it. That wasn’t something to be tackled then, but Gavin filed it away for another time. “What did you think about Fowler’s offer?” he ventured instead, hoping that it might get Connor’s mind off the emotive topic. “Would you want to go through that?”

“I’ve stayed in the employ of the DPD this long,” Connor reminded Gavin. “I think it could be beneficial, but I know we need to read through some of the finer print. I would be less willing if it involved certain commitments that could be included, such as remaining for a certain time after it was over or becoming publicly known users of the program. That I would not be willing to do.”

“Me neither, I’d hate to become poster boys. This is our fucking business and I’d hope they’d keep it private,” Gavin huffed. “I’ve gotta admit that I really want to go back to the DPD but what I saw today was really eye opening. Not sure I could do what Hank and Nines are doing and be the ones taking the brunt of the hostility...”

Then something occurred to Gavin. “Hey, you’ve got all of that shit in your head now, yeah?” he wondered, to which Connor nodded. “Does it say we have to stay in Central, if we become part of the program?” Connor shook his head a couple of seconds later. “What if we use Hank’s idea and scope out Twelfth? Chris is there and I know some of the guys in the SWAT crew. Allen’s sound as they get, even if he comes across as an ass on the job. Maybe we can see if that place would be any better, and if it is we can request being stationed there?”

Connor’s eyes lit up a little and Gavin wondered if he was on to a winner. “Chris’ unit is very pro-android and he’s been trying to convince me to transfer over, even if I’m continuing to work remotely. It might be worth investigating further.”

Gavin’s smile grew and he pulled back to look at Connor a little more sincerely. “Then why don’t we call Chris again tomorrow, see what we can arrange?” The pair smiled at each other for a few seconds before Gavin took a deep breath, which had Connor curious. “Con, I’m gonna ask something weird here and feel free to say no if you want to. I’m just wondering.”

“I doubt I’d say no, but of course I’ll listen.”

The human nodded before reaching down for Connor’s hand again. “Would you go on a date with me?” Seeing that Connor was immensely confused, Gavin went on.

“Hear me out, okay? I know we’re soulmates and have been in love with each other for literal years at this point, even if for me it’s been something like a week since I admitted it to myself that I loved you and stuck it on a page. But we I hate that we didn’t get to go through all the stages of being a couple. Awkward first date, improving ones till we stop numbering the dates cause we’re an established couple. Overnight stays at each other’s places, staying up way too late and almost running late for work the next day. Moving in, bickering about who keeps what and how to fuse all of that stuff together…”

Connor’s eyes were tearing up again and Gavin kissed him gently. “I love you, more than anything or anyone I ever have, but I feel like you’ve lost out on that experience cause of how everything got so fucked up with us.” The android’s tears finally slipped free as Gavin left tender kisses on his cheeks. “You’ve been through so much and this isn’t a relationship that you deserved. I know I’m in a fucked up state physically and it’ll be a long time before we could be ‘normal’ together, but can we maybe do this? Can you let me take you through the journey that got stolen from us?”

Now crying in earnest, Connor nodded and crushed his face into Gavin’s shoulder again. “Yes. Yes, of course I’ll go on a date with you, Gavin. I-You have no idea how much I’ve wondered what something like that would be with you.”

Well, that was something else to be unpacked…but later. Right now he had a sobbing soulmate to console and to help bring out of this dark spiral he’d slipped into for the night.

Then tomorrow? Tomorrow was going to be better. Gavin truly believed that.


	4. Playing Catch Up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Another update here.
> 
> Just so nobody gets confused later in the chapter, Silas is the name I've given Sixty and I'm going with my staple of Fletcher for Allen's first name. These two won't be playing a huge role in the overall story, but they do have an important role for now. 
> 
> This is the last of the real 'foundation' chapters, after this it will be kicking into higher gear: and getting equally angsty. Some of this fic is really going to hurt in the future but for now, enjoy the last bit of Gavin trying to reacquaint himself with the world after being asleep for two and a half years.
> 
> Enjoy!

It wasn’t quite the next day that they managed to head over to Twelfth, which was a relief for both Gavin and Connor. After such a raw day emotionally when visiting Central neither was up to facing more people so soon afterwards, and it meant that Gavin managed to get some more time with his home helps for that day.

Just like Francesca, Alex was very capable and easy to speak to. **Un** like Francesca though, Alex was an android.

A lot of his ‘experience’ came from years before he deviated but chose to stay in care once he was freed, and it showed. Alex was actually insightful in how to avoid Gavin hurting himself or when he reached his limits. The other thing he was a great help with was in passing along some techniques which could help the former detective with rebuilding his muscles.

Nothing was going to fix them just like that, but already Gavin could see some small differences.

At least now he could hold mugs and glasses for drinking without shaking from exertion, and he was getting better about shifting himself on the sofa to more comfortable positions. Pulling his legs up and shuffling them around was still a step too far, but he could see some progress.

Connor’s smile when Gavin showed him made everything feel a little easier for the pair of them that day.

After spending much of their free time helping pick out some occupational therapy tools for Gavin to use at home and get them delivered, they made sure to get an early night before Chris picked them up the next morning. While the pair had been tempted to decline the offer, Chris was insistent. With so much time in their Garden to spend together Gavin and Connor even spent some of it lazing in the grass next to the pond on Connor’s side.

How dozing off in the shared Garden worked was anyone’s guess for Gavin, it was something he’d never worked out, but the peaceful half suspension was so relaxing: and having his soulmate as a body pillow was all the better.

It quickly became apparent why Chris was so keen to pick Connor and Gavin up when a couple of kids came bursting out of Chris’ car when arriving at their house. The ease with which they tackled Connor and chatted to him excitedly made Gavin smile widely, especially when he realised that Connor was brighter with them than he’d seen with anyone else thus far. Chris watched knowingly from the side and chatted with Gavin for a bit while Connor tried to keep Damien and Catriona entertained. Chris’ wife, Beth, arrived with their baby girl only a couple of minutes later and the young family stayed for half an hour before they set out.

Gavin promised himself that he’d treat Chris to something as thanks when he saw how much Connor had lightened after playing with the children. He didn’t know how yet, but he’d make it up to the young detective.

Beth took the kids and set off home before Chris then helped Gavin into his car so that they could head to the precinct. It wasn’t a long journey, Twelfth was much closer to Connor and Gavin’s house than Central, and they pulled up in no time. Another feature about Twelfth that Gavin really liked was that the parking was fully enclosed, so there wasn’t really anyone to stare.

Not that he was ashamed of his condition or anything…but he’d noticed that people liked to whisper and talk. Better to avoid that then have to explain anything – he just wished that human nature wasn’t so shitty and loved to gossip.

Once they arrived into the precinct Chris was greeted by a few others, after which Connor and Gavin were stunned when they were approached by a group of several officers. Some human, some android: but it turned out the pair were somewhat famous in the station. Many wanted to get the chance to talk to them and it was almost surreal. Definitely overwhelming; Chris ended up pestering the others to give Connor and Gavin some breathing room.

It was such a contrast to Central that it was almost dizzying.

They really didn’t know where to start considering that so many people were vying for their attention and the whole place was abuzz. Such a change of atmosphere reminded Gavin of how Central was years ago before so many things changed the landscape: the arrival of androids and the anti-android paranoia that surrounded it, Hank’s slide in depression and people having to pick up the slack, being left short-handed after the revolution…while it had been getting better in the latter stages of Gavin’s Withering, it hadn’t been anything like this.

Seeing the enthusiasm reminded him of how he first felt when he became a cop – and that was something Gavin thought he’d lost years ago.

Chris managed to usher them to a quieter segment of the floor, away from the bullpen, and into one of the offices at the side. What neither Connor nor Gavin had expected was to find company inside.

Allen waved in greeting before clapping Chris on the shoulder, showing that the pair had a strong friendship. That was something Gavin wouldn’t have called, but he couldn’t deny the evidence in front of him. Working in the same precinct probably had a lot to do with that, but it pleased Gavin to see that Chris had built up good working relationships in his new workplace. He’d been so shy at first in Central that Gavin had wondered if Chris could get himself established.

“Nice to see you two again, it’s been a while,” Allen stated while nodding towards Gavin and Connor. “Sorry about the pile up when you got here, as I’m sure you two worked out, you’re somewhat well known in this place.”

“I’m surprised Hank and Nines didn’t warn them!” Chris laughed while heading behind the desk to reach into a drawer, both Gavin and Connor only realising now that it was Chris’ own. He wasn’t based in the bullpen? Strange for a relatively young detective.

“Knowing those two, they did it on purpose,” Allen said with a sly smirk.

Gavin and Connor shared a confused look as Connor helped to shift Gavin over to the side of the room. Without saying a word Connor gestured to the sofa at the side but Gavin shook his head. While he was more than okay with present company, he didn’t want them to see how much Connor was having to assist him right now. It was stupid to cling to that little bit of stubborn pride, but Gavin didn’t have an awful lot of that left at this point. “Nice little hidey hole you’ve got here, Chris,” Gavin said as Connor took a seat next to him.

Chris thumbed over at Allen. “That’s all Fletcher’s handiwork. I didn’t ask for this, but he made it happen,” Chris stated warmly, to which Allen rolled his eyes.

“You’re heading up a taskforce, you need some space to get away from all of the shit,” Allen told him knowingly. “Besides, that lot out there are **awful** for the station gossip. You don’t want to get too mixed up in that shit if you can help it.”

“Taskforce?” Gavin asked in confusion, turning to Connor for guidance. The android smiled in reply.

“Chris was reassigned to Twelfth to help with policing some of the new android laws, and to be part of a specialised unit which helps with higher level crimes,” Connor explained. “I didn’t know that he’d been given the running of it, however.”

“Well, not quite,” Chris stated while rubbing the back of his neck in embarrassment. “We’re trying to crack down on some anti-android militias and gangs in the city, but it turned out that a lot of them have ties to some pretty influential people. Councillors, businessmen, government officials…you name it, we can probably find someone in that bracket. Part of our unit was leased out to assist with the FBI and SWAT’s handling of the white collar side, and I’m leading our squad.”

Gavin whistled in admiration. “Damn, nice work, Chris. Guess that means you’ve got to put up with this git a lot more?” he smiled cheekily while nodding towards Allen, who just sighed and rolled his eyes again.

“See if you weren’t in a wheelchair and recovering right now, I’d be taking you down to the sparring mats to kick your ass like I did years ago,” Allen stated. Gavin laughed quietly in reply to that and remembered that incident fondly. For a while he’d been contemplating a switch over to SWAT and he’d made it down to the final round of selections. At that point Allen had been second-in-command of his unit and part of the last trial was a sparring match against him.

Gavin hadn’t made it through, but he’d impressed enough that Allen recommended to his captain that Gavin be switched over to Central. The two of them hadn’t ever been close, but they were friendly enough since Allen kept tabs on Gavin’s progression.

“We’ll save that for later,” Gavin decided before turning back to Chris. “So this place is mostly focused on helping out with android laws?”

“It’s one of two precincts with units dedicated to them,” Chris said proudly. “A lot’s changed since you fell into Slumber, Gavin. New laws, some new and prolific supporters on side who are pushing for faster changes, along with shifting public opinion have gone a long way. Ironically, what could have been a disaster with the accidental Witherings when we first discovered androids had soulmates later worked in everyone’s favour. The research carried out at the Jericho Institute shifted everything firmly in the androids’ support.”

It did make Gavin feel a little better to know that their plight had ended up advancing android rights all around…but the selfish part of him resented that he and Connor had to be part of the wave that suffered for those freedoms. Turning towards his soulmate, that feeling echoed all the more when he saw the melancholy expression on Connor’s face.

Connor was still suffering a lot with his current situation – but just maybe, they could find a new purpose here.

“Can you show us around a little more? I want to know more.”

* * *

Speaking to many of those within Twelfth, Gavin realised that many of those working there had similar stories. So many of the officers, detectives and civilian staff were all in the same boat: they or meaningful people in their lives were androids, and they were determined to see androids given an established place in society. Some were doing that through their work, others were part of outreach and awareness programs beyond the DPD.

It turned out that many were well acquainted with those close to Gavin and Connor; be it Chris, Tina, Hank or Nines. Hearing how much they’d campaigned and put themselves in the public eye was moving, especially as Gavin knew none of them were ones for the limelight. Or at least they hadn’t been before.

Talking to Allen, of all people, answered many of Gavin’s questions. During one of their brief stints of the day where Connor wasn’t at Gavin’s side and was instead talking with someone called Silas, he’d managed to hear about the changes from an outside perspective. In a bizarre twist of fate it turned out another RK800 was Allen’s soulmate, but he’d only been found and restored 16 months earlier.

“Connor took Silas’ reactivation really badly,” Allen told Gavin from where they were looking out over Detroit within a meeting room higher up the precinct. It was inside the floor where Allen’s team were based, so there was a lot less foot traffic there. “Since your Withering he’s always been crippled by guilt, feeling that he should have done more. Silas’ restoration just compounded that.”

“How so?” Gavin wondered, hating to think that Connor had managed to get into the cycle of blaming himself for others’ hardship.

“Turns out that Silas and Connor had crossed paths at the end of the revolution, on that final night where Connor freed everyone from the CyberLife Tower. Silas was ordered to capture Hank and use him as leverage to stop Connor. It didn’t work out like that and Silas was shot in the head. Everyone thought he was dead…they didn’t know that he was crippled and going through a hard reboot. He woke up in one of the android junkyards with everything that CyberLife tried to hide of their shady dealings.”

Gavin’s breath caught. “Wait, there weren’t any- Shit.” He realised from the hard set of Allen’s eyes what had happened. Gavin hadn’t known that CyberLife had mass dumpings ground for their former androids that weren’t part of Connor’s army that night: which meant that by the time he’d fallen asleep, Silas hadn’t been found.

“Yeah,” Allen said sadly. “He was left wandering around there with terminally damaged systems for about a month before he just…gave up and put himself into an endless statsis mode. Those fuckers had stashed everyone inside an old missile silo and Silas was alone since everyone else hadn’t been activated yet. Once we found out about their antics we managed to get everyone out and awakened. Poor Silas didn’t want to come back though, it took a lot of convincing for him to give life a try.”

That was brutal to hear. “Wait, why’d Connor feel so guilty about him? He couldn’t have known that Silas was actually alive and then deviant, right?”

“No, there was no way he could have known. Silas still doesn’t talk to many people, he’s mostly mute, but Connor’s one of the few he does. Something about how Connor understands the control they were under? I don’t know how it works, Si’s never really opened up about that fully. Connor knew that Silas’ body was missing but he’d never really thought about where it had gone. Nobody blames him, least of all Silas, but that just compounded with Connor’s guilt about you.”

“Fuck,” Gavin swore harshly. “No wonder he’s always determined to blame himself, even I’ve noticed it.” His fist clenched but even that was entirely dissatisfying since Gavin couldn’t really grip that tight. All it reminded him of was his limitations, which just sparked an even darker mood. “But Silas is…he’s all right now?”

“He’s getting there,” Allen smiled softly. “He’s a conscious mute, he chooses not to speak to most people, but he’s part of my technical and forensics team here at the precinct. Silas wanted to get out of the house and make himself useful, so I brought him here. Turns out that my team has a habit of picking up broken people to make a unit, so he slotted right in. Lucky bastard’s more popular than me, mostly because he doesn’t bark at people when they’re being shitheads. Pranking them with a fart bomb is more his style,” Allen chuckled.

“Therapy is still really rough for him but he needs it for the psychological trauma. I think that’s another reason that he and Connor are actually pretty close despite everything. They’re in similar situations with mental health issues, and not a lot of people acknowledge those with androids yet. Idiots.”

Hearing about that gave Gavin a little hope. Maybe Connor could get there too now that he was awake and they could get other parts of his life going in the right direction again.

They talked for a lot longer about a few things, all of which helped Gavin to piece together more of the time that he’d missed. Allen told him about how he’d become a prominent part of the android rights movement after discovering that he was soulmates with Silas, and it was only a matter of time before he crossed paths with Hank and Nines. While Gavin knew that they’d taken on a lot of the spotlight while Connor vanished, he hadn’t realised just how **much** – or that they’d done it in part to shield Connor once they truth came out about Gavin’s Withering.

“It was after Hank mentioned that Chris was a newly minted detective and looking for a new station that I suggested he come here,” Allen admitted with a smirk. “There was a new DPD captain about to be reassigned here that I **may** have had a hand in organising…and I knew that she was someone who could be trusted to fight for the androids. Chris sounded like the perfect fit for her newest unit and it’s proved to be that way. He’s a good man and great support in the taskforce now that it’s underway.”

“Sounds like Chris has managed to get himself set up pretty damn good,” Gavin smiled in pride. “And what about you? How are things with you and Silas?”

“We’re doing fine,” Allen smiled. “We’ve talked about being soulmates and we’re completely fine as friends. If anything develops later then that’s a wait and see job, but we’re already close and perfectly content with that. To be honest, friends is what Silas needs the most.”

“Good. At least you guys managed to be adults and talk,” Gavin snorted self-depreciatingly. “You did better than me.”

Allen shook his head. “Fuck, sounds like I’m speaking to Connor right now. You guys were in an extraordinary situation which came about from an accident. What happened in the revolution was always going to get you off on a bad foot, and to be perfectly honest, I don’t think most people in Connor’s situation would have been willing to even think about accepting you. Not to mention a lot of those Withering would have been a lot more bitter and treated Connor harshly.

“You guys have achieved a lot, and you’ve got a chance now. Whatever you want to do is up to you, but if I’ve learned anything from my own bond with Silas, it’s that you need to talk. No matter how shitty the topic, you need to get it all out. It’s gonna hurt a whole fucking lot, but it’s better in the long run. You’re only going to manage by working together.”

A knock sounded at the door and Gavin did a double take when he stared at the door. For a split second he thought it was Connor before realising the differences from the android standing there. Firstly his hair was a little longer and curling at the edges, and it was the default colour without Connor’s silver highlights. Next, the eyes were grey instead of brown and lastly – and most strikingly - was the melted chassis on display in his forehead from a repaired bullet wound.

Gavin was honestly in awe that Silas went about with that on show. He wasn’t sure that he’d not try and hide it under a cap all the time or something.

What did that say about him as a person?

He watched curiously as he saw Allen’s smartwatch ping with a message and the SWAT captain smiled at reading the contents. “Lunch sounds good, you okay to give me a couple more minutes in here?” he asked while looked back over, to which Silas’ gaze turned to Gavin shyly. Another message chirped on Allen’s watch and the older man raised an eyebrow at it. He first looked at Silas before turning to Gavin. “Si’s asking if he can meet you, Gavin. You good with that?”

“Uh…” Gavin felt a little like a deer caught in the headlights but nodded, watching Silas wander in slowly. Seeing how Silas moved reminded Gavin of how Connor was now compared to before: careful, wary and meticulous. It was almost like he was double checking everything in his surroundings before he chose his actions.

It hit Gavin hard. Until then he hadn’t really made that connection in his head with Connor, but now what Allen had said about hard conversations struck home a bit more. There was a good chance that Connor didn’t even realise he was doing it. Bringing that up was going to be tough.

Silas stopped next to Allen and hesitated for a few seconds. It was clear to see that he was thinking about something, even without an LED that would surely be spinning yellow or red. In the end, Gavin wouldn’t have possibly dreamed of what came out of Silas’ mouth.

“Thank you for coming back to him. Help Connor, please.” The voice was horrifically glitchy and reminded Gavin a little of one of the terrible voice synthesizers from his childhood, staccato and ‘robotic’, for lack of a better word. He wasn’t so much taken aback by the voice itself, it was more than he was in shock that Silas actually **spoke**. From what Allen had said, that was a rare occurrence which symbolised of a lot of trust.

Gavin just about mustered up a nod. “I will. Thank you for being there for him,” he replied croakily. Silas must have realised that Gavin’s hesitation was out of awe and not disgust, because the android smiled tentatively before Allen’s watch pinged again.

The captain nodded upon reading the message and then turned to Gavin, placing a hand on the former detective’s shoulder. “Si says that Connor’s just outside, I’m gonna head off so I can grab something to eat before my meetings in the afternoon. You all good here?”

“Yeah, yeah I’m all good. Thanks, Fletcher,” Gavin replied gratefully.

“Anytime – and for the record, Hank gave me the heads up about you two with the rehabilitation program. If you two want to transfer over here, I can promise you that you’d have the support of every person here without fail. We’re a pretty tight knit bunch,” the SWAT captain said while standing.

“No kidding,” Gavin whispered, not sure what else to say before Allen and Silas walked out together. The minute they’d disappeared from view Connor walked in and quickly took a seat next to Gavin, reaching for his hand. Gavin wasn’t content with that and gently pulled Connor closer to kiss the android. Instantly some of the tension in Connor’s body melted away. “Hey, you okay?” Gavin asked once they separated.

“I will be,” Connor assured him. “How was your talk with Fletcher?”

“Enlightening, and hard,” the human replied honestly. Thinking back to Silas had Gavin pulling the glove from his whitened hand to stare at the appendage thoughtfully. If Silas was able to walk around the precinct with his scar on show in front of complete strangers, then surely this was somewhere that Gavin could maybe come to terms with his own version scarring too? While he wasn’t ashamed of his markings, he wasn’t quite so ready to have it visible constantly yet either.

Everything Gavin had seen so far was convincing him that maybe this new precinct was exactly what both he and Connor needed. This was somewhere that Connor could work without memories, and it was possibly even a place that Gavin could get his life back piece-by-piece. It wouldn’t be a rapid fix or magical solution by any means…but it was an opportunity they didn’t have before.

“Con, I know we said we’d talk about this when we got home but I-I think I’ve made up my mind about the rehabilitation program,” Gavin stated with a lot more confidence than he felt. “I think this place really could be good for us.”

Connor didn’t look convinced, but he kept Gavin’s gaze. “Are you sure? It’s a big decision.”

“Yeah, I know. I want to give it a shot but only if you want to. If you don’t think you could, we’ll figure out another way.” Seeing that his soulmate was so undecided, but looking like he was about to agree, Gavin reached out and pressed a finger to Connor’s lips. “Nuh-uh, you aren’t agreeing here because it’s what I want. We’re going to wait and finish out the day here, then we’re going to talk again at home. I can see it written all over your face.”

The answering nod was slow but Gavin would take it. “You think we can go back downstairs to catch up with Chris more? I want to find out more of what he’s been up to and what work they’re doing here,” Gavin requested.

Connor dutifully took Gavin back downstairs but the former detective wasn’t really that focused on learning anymore about Twelfth. What he needed to do was work out if this was somewhere that would be advantageous to Connor’s healing. Was staying in the DPD the right thing for him, or would a clean break be what Connor needed?

This was big decision and Gavin had to make sure he didn’t let his own wish to move to Twelfth bias what he thought was best for Connor.

Why did this have to be so complicated? Why did **all** of their life have to be so hard?

Why did healing have to hurt so damn much?


	5. Crawl Before You Can Walk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry guys! I ended up completely binning the first iteration of this chapter, so it was a bit longer than I wanted it to be before I could update. I'm much happier this time around, even if it wasn't my original plan.
> 
> A lot of feels in here, but I think you guys are used to that by now. Next chapter is going to be something special, as it's directly inspired by someone who drew me some incredible fan art, which I will share once it is released!
> 
> Hope this was worth the wait!

It took another two days before Gavin was finally convinced by Connor’s ‘yes’ to start the DPD rehabilitation program at Twelfth.

While he could tell that Connor was at least considering it, Gavin knew that a large part of Connor’s initial reaction was based on the fact that Gavin’s heart was set on it. He wasn’t willing to let Connor just go with the flow this time though – he’d spent so much time over the past years going by everyone else’s whims and not doing enough for himself, Gavin was trying to make sure that Connor was making the best choice for  **him** this time.

Eventually Gavin could tell that Connor really wanted to make the change, and the smile the android gave when outlining his reasons why was something so precious that Gavin felt himself getting emotional at it. This was a chance for them both to have a fresh start, and they were going to give it everything they had.

Telling their friends at Central that they were moving was hard, but it was something that all of their inner circle had secretly been hoping for. Everyone was adamant that Central would do no favours for either of them, but Twelfth could be the making of them and maybe new careers. Seeing how everyone rallied around them was moving, both Connor and Gavin were a bit overwhelmed.

Of course, it wasn’t just the move to Twelfth that was going to be the most challenging part about everything. That part of the process was going to take a few months, in actuality.

As part of the rehabilitation program, Connor was officially reduced to only two days of work while the rest was for therapy, while Gavin was only required to be in the precinct for one day a week as part of his initiation program. Since he was a seasoned detective, it didn’t take Gavin long to find himself getting reacquainted with a lot of the procedures: what was proving to be the most challenging aspect, was trying to find a team for Gavin to slot into.

Chris had offered a spot on his task force but Gavin knew he wouldn’t be much help there as yet. He was only going to be working one day a week for a couple of months before it transitioned to three, and there was no guarantee that Gavin would be able to go into the field at that point. Chris needed the best with him, not some someone who had a severe physical limitation.

It wouldn’t be an issue until the end of May, when Gavin needed an official placement, but the floating around was bringing into stark clarity that shifting over wasn’t as easy as Gavin hoped.

Connor, on the other hand, had been seconded into SWAT’s contingent of the taskforce – at Allen’s request. Gavin saw right through the reasons on paper (a person of unparalleled experience in android crimes and with a fantastic work record), something was brought into sharp focus on the day that they were both at Twelfth. Fletcher wanted Connor simply because it brought him into easy contact with Silas.

It was good to see Connor interacting with someone else more, but Gavin did miss being apart from him on those days. They didn’t really have that much time to interact beyond their breaks and messages throughout the day.

What Gavin really hated about the situation most was how he could see the cycle the two of them unintentionally fell into by their third week – and it wasn’t a good one.

Gavin had physical therapy classes four times a week now. Twice for his arms and twice for his legs. It was long and exhausting, and every day he came back feeling like he’d gone several rounds with a vicious perp even though he’d achieved almost nothing. His legs still couldn’t bear any weight without collapsing from under him, and his arms were starting to constantly feel like he’d been doing pull ups all day.

Never mind the fact that all Gavin ever did was lift items like water bottles and paperweights to see how much his body could bear before it screamed enough. What infuriated him all the more was that he wasn’t allowed to push himself yet – the physical therapists were too scared of how the rest of his body would react to the exertion.

In between all of the PT that Connor was having to ferry Gavin to, they also had various testing sessions at the Jericho Institute. They were always tedious and could almost be considered invasive to Gavin, even if he knew it was for the best. All the tests, scans and examinations made him feel like a lab rat, but in a sense he very much was.

Nines was the one to bring it into focus for Gavin one day, to let him know why all of this was a necessary evil.

“Gavin, your lungs were all but gone. How you survived so long was something nobody could work out, almost everyone who looked at your results from the last stages of your Withering were astounded that you’d managed to function at all. Spider webs had more strength to them than your lungs had, even pushing a tube into your throat to allow you to keep breathing caused them to just fade away into nothing.”

After that, Gavin asked Nines to tell him the honest and brutal truth of how close he’d come to dying. He couldn’t ask it of anyone else: Nines would be clinical about it, if that’s what Gavin wanted.

Hearing it in such stark detail was far from easy, but it helped with a lot of pieces that Gavin hadn’t even realised were missing in his mind.

He learned how his lungs were now mostly partially cybernetic, built from a combination of tissue taken from other, un-Withered parts of his body, and some complex organic meshwork that was part of a medical experiment from another trial. Wires, metalwork, flesh…all of it combined into what was now keeping Gavin breathing. With that, however, Gavin now understood why they were always so worried whenever he got breathless: until they learned more about how Gavin’s new lungs worked in a real world setting, there would always be that underlying worry that they might fail if under too much strain.

Nines also told him about his other organs, how many of them were left permanently weakened by his Withering and how medication was what kept his remaining functions up enough so that Gavin could stay independent. That was bitter news as Gavin realised that he’d be on a complex cocktail of pills for the rest of his life and he’d have to be wary of it, but that was something he couldn’t avoid. Maybe in the future they could fortify Gavin’s other organs like they had with his lungs, but that was several years away from being readily available. The only reason Gavin had been involved with the first project was because he would have been dead without it.

All of it was rough listening, but it helped Gavin to understand more about the paranoia surrounding his condition. He could row back on his own stubbornness and need for everything to be better sooner rather than later…right?

Three quarters of their week went between the precinct, Gavin’s physical therapy and the testing at the Jericho Institute. The was last part was undoubtedly the best and worst of it, because fuck knows both Gavin and Connor needed the threapy to talk about their mental traumas, but it brought with it a cloud that was hard to escape from.

They had therapy on the same day, though at different times. It meant that both of them had a lot of thoughts for the duration of it, and sometimes those thoughts didn’t leave them when it came to sleeping. While their Garden was their shared refuge, both of them came to the agreement that it was better for their relationship if they kept that as somewhere away from the darker sides of their minds. They needed that as a bright spark, not to be dragged down when both of them were feeling overwhelmed – for now, at least.

It took almost a month before Gavin realised that the day after therapy, Connor was always more skittish than normal. While he’d put it down to the emotional burden of everything that they shared in their sessions and trying to come to terms with it, Melissa was the one that helped to finally start solving the mystery for Gavin.

Connor had managed to arrange it so that his single day in the precinct without Gavin fell on a weekend, mostly so that there was the guarantee of Melissa being free to stay with Gavin through the day. While they had a multitude of people willing to help, most of them had the capability of working through the weekends and were on standby; that was one of the hazards of having most of their friends and family working in law enforcement. At least on the weekends there was no chance of Melissa having classes, so she could be with Gavin.

While Gavin had known Melissa before he fell asleep, seeing how she’d matured into a considerate and dedicated young woman gave him a lot of pride. He adored getting to chat to her, and was so grateful that she didn’t so much as blink an eye whenever he needed something. No matter what he needed, she was there to help out. At this stage Gavin was more capable of moving around the house on his own and managed to be reasonably independent, but there were still limitations.

Cooking was currently out of the question until they managed to get a mobile ramp suitable for the kitchen dimensions, and while Connor had sourced a kitchen with lower islands in preparation for when Gavin finally came to again, not everything was in easy reach. Sometimes he needed something from the fridge that was up too high, or when he occasionally felt like using the microwave Melissa was needed for her height. He hated how it was built into one of the higher cabinets.

Also, he couldn’t be as boisterous with Blossom as the dog liked. While Connor rolled around on the floor with her and played tug of war, Gavin didn’t have the strength for that yet. Melissa loved messing around with the excitable dog though and it brightened Gavin’s day to see the hound get the interaction she needed. By now he’d stopped noticing when Blossom’s fur retracted when Melissa started scratching over a spot which coincided with a plate edge, learning that it was something very sensitive for androids.

Gavin was quietly taking notes, for whenever he and Connor were alone at nights: keen to start delving into a more affectionate relationship than what they had. It was Melissa’s keen insight that had him starting to ask more questions.

“Hey, Melli. Since you know more about Connor than I do now, I wondered if I could ask you something that’s a little more difficult,” he started, wanting to be honest with the young woman. She looked up from where she was rubbing Blossom’s belly and nodded.

“Sure! I’m not sure how much help I’ll be as I’m not around here as much as you think, Gavin, but I’ll try. If you want to know more about Connor, Hank or Nines would be your best bets.”

“Maybe for a lot of things, but not this I don’t think,” Gavin sighed. “You’re around the house a lot more than they are, and I’m pretty sure you’ll have seen how Connor gets after his therapy sessions?” Melissa nodded in reply, silently encouraging Gavin to go on. “Does it always take him a couple of days to, you know, bounce back to his usual self?”

“Hmmm, actually, no,” she said slowly, deep in thought. “Connor would often have a bad session and be withdrawn for the rest of the day, but he mostly went into your Garden to help work through his thoughts. He once told me that at least in the Garden, he could control his stasis. Android dreams are renowned for being volatile, especially for those with traumatic memories. It’s why a lot of androids who don’t have soulmates chose to have it uninstalled, actually.”

Gavin’s stomach turned at that piece of information – he could only imagine what Connor’s dreams included given the guilt that he knew the android carried around. “So Con suffered badly from nightmares?” he whispered.

“I’m not actually sure. Aunt Tina said he did back when you were still in the hospital, but it got better when you were brought home. I dunno if you being nearby helped or if Connor had come to terms with events a little more, but I’ve never seen him that bad. Sometimes he has waking nightmares though, and those are scary.”

“Waking nightmares?” That sounded horrific.

“Yeah. I was here, once, when Connor broke down with one. He was so embarrassed afterwards but it was heartbreaking to watch,” Melissa said sadly. “His preconstruction software sometimes gets turned on when he’s going through his memories, if he’s fixated on what he could have done differently. Of course that means he sees every option available in pretty realistic fashion, and when you combine it with the fact androids have limited imagination…”

She left the sentence there, but Gavin was able to read between the lines. “He sees all the ways I could have died, doesn’t he?” Gavin didn’t need to see Melissa’s nod for his heart to ache, but he almost wished that was what she’d done instead of shaking her head and explaining more.

“Not just that, but he’s able to see everything that could have happened. How you might have been healthy, where you two might have been now if he’d been open to the possibility of you two becoming friends. He gets the best and worst of it, but seeing all the ways it nearly ended always breaks him a little more. The time I was here, I ended up unintentionally snapping him out of a cycle he’d gotten himself stuck in.

“He…he admitted that it was somewhere that you’d woken up, only to die later. That’s still a possibility, Gavin, as much as we all don’t think of it as one,” Melissa told him sadly. “There’s so much we don’t know about how you’re recovering – as humans, we’re used to that mortality and the ever present chance of just keeling over. To an android…Connor can get fixated on that supposed 7.7% possibility of you just not waking up again one day, or of everything shutting down. If that happened, I think it would destroy him.”

Gavin’s heart  **hurt** in his chest. He was feeling so many emotions at that moment: guilt at his actions during the revolution having unintentionally driven them towards this life now, shock at knowing he actually had that chance to just not wake up one day, adoration at hearing just how much Connor loved him…it was a lot and he didn’t bother hiding when a single tear snaked down his cheeks. “Sorry, that just caught me a little off guard,” Gavin admitted when she got worried. “I’m okay, honest, just-It’s a lot.”

“Yeah, I can only imagine how much it is,” she said while moving over to hug Gavin. “Just so you know, Connor is so much happier at home now that you’re back. He actually has someone to keep him company when his thoughts get too loud, and it’s someone who knows just how hard all of this is. I think the fact you’re both going through similar trauma might actually be a help for you recovering.”

A laugh caught in Gavin's throat as he hugged Melissa again. “Yeah, you might be right, Melli. Guess we’ll just have to find out about that.” Feeling a sudden rush of determination, Gavin looked to his useless legs and strapped them into his foot rests. While he didn’t use the restraints around the house, they were fitted for whenever Gavin was out and about for if they ever needed to suddenly stop.

Melissa was staring at Gavin oddly as he fussed around. Confused as to what the former detective was planning, she waited as he finished and then turned to her with a glint in his eyes. “Hey, are you able to take a firm hold of my arms and not let go? I wanna try and see if I can lift myself upwards.”

Eyes widening, Melissa nodded and made sure the brakes of the wheelchair were on firmly before she stood and got in position. Once Gavin was sure that the young woman was settled, he wrapped his forearms around hers to make sure that they were secure. “You think you can take my weight?” he double checked. Melissa just laughed.

“You’ve seen me throw around Blossom and you know how heavy she is, not to mention I pick up my aunt all the time cause it annoys her. C’mon, this ain’t gonna be anything!” she chimed. Gavin shook his head fondly and then, using the balance, strength and core techniques he’d been learning at his physical therapy, started to lift himself out of the chair.

Much to his own amazement, he managed to get about a third of the way up before they reached that point where Melissa would have to change her balance to let him climb higher. Even better: he managed to hold himself there for a few seconds. Both of them were left beaming as Melissa helped Gavin to get resettled. “Holy shit, I can’t believe I could do that,” Gavin smiled as Melissa cheered.

“See! It’s working! You’ll be able to arm wrestle anyone in no time!” she whooped as Blossom started barking in delight. The dog had picked up on the happy mood and went up on her hind legs so that she could plop herself into Gavin’s lap. He chuckled at the dog’s antics and ruffled her fur happily.

“This you telling me that I’m doing a good job too, huh? That I’ll be able to take you on walks sometime before long?” Blossom barked again, almost as if she’d understood his every word and Gavin kissed her muzzle. He’d have to ask Connor sometime just how much android animals understood of human speech. “Thanks, both of you. I can’t wait to show Connor when he gets home.”

Melissa sat down on the sofa again with a curious expression, watching as Blossom attempted to scramble up into Gavin’s arms. Much to both of their surprises, the dog managed to jump up and curl herself onto Gavin’s lap, though it looked far from comfortable with how she was squished between the arms of the wheelchair. Both humans just stared at each other for a second before Melissa brought out her phone and snapped a picture to send to Connor. “Wow, she’s clingy,” the woman giggled as Gavin petted her.

“No shit, guess she’s wanting to make sure I stay happy,” he said softly while listening to the dog’s contented rumbling. He heard a meow from not far away and turned to see Cleo jumping from the arm of the sofa, apparently not wanting to be left out. The cat then curled up on top of Blossom, happy to be in the little cuddle pile. Gavin could feel their weight but he had no urge to move them, too emotional at the showing of unconditional love from both animals. “How do pets always know…?”

“Beats me, but you all look adorable there,” Melissa beamed while taking more pictures and sending them off. She let the warm silence sit for a few seconds before staring at Gavin a little more seriously. “Gavin…why did you ask me about Connor after therapy? Has he been different with you?”

“Yeah, he has. I’m not sure why, but I think it might have something to do with the fact we’ve agreed not to go into the Garden those nights: we don’t want to take whatever is weighing us down into that space. Most of the really dark stuff we keep out here, while the Garden is meant to be a happier spot. Connor’s always told me that he stays out of stasis on those nights to make sure I don’t have bad dreams, but I wonder if he’s having those waking nightmares instead. Fuck…” his body slumped a little at the thought.

“Melissa, do you think Connor would be honest with me if I asked him about that? I don’t know if I’d be so willing to admit something like that to him, but that’s because I wouldn’t want him to worry,” Gavin asked of the young woman. “Is he that open with any of you?”

She sat back and thought about it. “Depends on what’s on his mind, I guess. I’ve not really tackled much of the hard stuff with him, I try to keep him upbeat. If you want to know more, I’d guess either Hank or Nines is your best bet. Connor confides in them for different things and while I’m sure they’ll both know the whole story – those two share almost everything – neither of them has ever let on. They’ll probably be your best bet,” Melissa informed him.

Gavin nodded and thought about whatever time they’d have available over the next few days. The next day was Sunday, and Gavin had learned that was the day that the senior members of the various branches of Jericho met up. There would be no chance of snagging Hank and Nines for any of that, they’d both be far too busy. Monday was PT and testing at the Jericho Institute, but there was also a chance that one of Nines or Hank would be there. So far Gavin had seen at least one of them every Monday that he’d been there, he suspected that was when a lot of meetings happened.

He had his plan, now he just had to wonder if either of them would know anything about how to help Connor. It wouldn’t be a quick fix, but any clues that they could give Gavin about Connor’s behaviour might help him solve this mystery. Gavin hated the thought that Connor might be silently suffering in an effort to try and preserve that safe space in their minds.

* * *

After that talk Melissa made a point of trying to lighten up the mood on the house, and helped Gavin to dig out where his old games console was so that they could play. Melissa hadn’t even been born when the PlayStation 4 came out, but it was still one of Gavin’s favourite consoles. He’d put in a lot of money to make sure it kept running smoothly, mainly because a lot of his favourite games were from that era.

The two of them played through a few of the co-operative games that Gavin still had saved on the hard drive, laughing at all of the silly mistakes they made as the hours passed. While Cleo had eventually grown bored of sleeping on Blossom, and thus Gavin’s lap, she hadn’t moved far. In fact, when one of the games involved a little pointer that was flashing around the screen, she started watching in interest. Gavin and Melissa both hurt their sides laughing when the cat made an opportunistic dive at the TV out of the blue, and was thoroughly confused why she hadn’t caught anything.

When Connor reappeared at 6pm that night, Gavin could tell that he was surprised by the atmosphere of the house. Melissa had broken out her cards and both humans were playing games at the dining table, laughing away at Gavin’s huff when she beat him yet again. Gavin’s eyes lit up at seeing Connor arrive and he beckoned for the android to come join them. “Hey, Con. Fancy helping me try to take down this little madam? I’m fed up of getting my ass kicked,” Gavin grinned as Connor set about taking off his jacket.

“Oh, I know better than to play Melissa at cards. I see her beating Tina, Chris and Beth often enough to know that she’s unmatched,” Connor smiled slightly as he walked across. Gavin felt a slight flutter when Connor’s hand came to rest on the centre of his back, the simple physical affection was something that still caught him unawares on occasion.

“Well I know that’s not true, I’ll definitely lose against an android,” Melissa laughed while blushing. “Besides, the real card shark is actually Hank. As much as I manage to beat everyone else, I’ve  **never** beaten him yet. I can’t tell if Nines is sending him secret signals or what, but it’s scary.”

She then looked at her phone and smiled apologetically. “Actually, I should probably go. I promised my aunt that I’d swing by tonight before I head back to the campus, and she’s on an early shift tomorrow. Don’t want her staying up too late on my behalf!”

Before the young woman managed to get too far, however, Gavin lightly grabbed her wrist and pulled her down for a long hug. “Thank you, you’ve no idea how much today was something I needed,” Gavin told her gratefully. “Tell Teenie that I need to be round hers next time she’s off, yeah? I remember that I owe her a day of shitty films that we’d planned years ago, but never got around to.”

The ‘before I fell asleep’ part didn’t need to be said, he was sure that Melissa understood. Tina and Gavin had a lot of plans for his supposedly ‘final’ days that they’d never managed to complete, but he was hoping to make up for some of it now. It was strange, but since he’d found out from Melissa about that supposed 7.7% chance of dying any day, it was making him want to get going and do more. There were still limitations, but spending time with those nearest and dearest to him was not any real burden.

“Sure! I’ll pester her to text you a list to pick from,” Melissa promised before moving to hug Connor. The android embraced her warmly and left a gentle kiss on her cheek as she pulled away. Gavin enjoyed how she blushed every time Connor did that, he thought she’d be used to it by now since he made a point of it every Saturday that she’d been keeping Gavin company, but apparently not. Melissa swatted at Connor’s shoulder playfully before packing up the cards, grabbing her handbag, and heading for the door. “See you later, lovebirds!”

Both Gavin and Connor laughed quietly as she slipped out of the door. The minute she was gone though, Gavin pulled Connor down to his level and kissed the android deeply. It caused Connor to moan softly and Gavin cherished it. Such carefree and pleasure filled sounds were still a rarity. “Hey, baby,” Gavin greeted as they pulled apart. “How was it?”

“Exhausting, a day filled with interviews and planning,” Connor sighed as he took a seat at the dining table. The android linked hands with Gavin though and his skin peeled back as their fingers wound together. Gavin’s skin tingled at feeling the gentle interface Connor started, love bubbling under the surface at how Connor always opened himself to Gavin so easily. Despite everything else, this was something that Connor never hid from. “It seems like you and Melissa had a lot of fun?”

“Yeah, introduced her to some of my old PS4 games before she started kicking my ass at cards. She’s really easy company,” Gavin smiled while running his thumb across Connor’s. He couldn’t help but look down at their linked hands, seeing the matching white there and feeling it resonate somewhere within him. They needed something to do outside of this bubble they’d started to subconsciously construct around them – an escape. Right now Gavin almost had one with Melissa, but Connor didn’t. Even their home life was filled with permanent reminders of their new challenges, it wasn’t somewhere that either of them could come back to and just…switch off.

An idea came to Gavin and he squeezed Connor’s hands to get the android’s attention on him. “Hey Con, can you do me a favour and see if this place is still open? I don’t just mean tonight, I mean generally? I’ve not been there in a while, after all.”

Connor nodded at Gavin in reply. “ **_Hidden Reef_ ** ? Yes, it is. It is open four days a week, from Thursday to Sunday, and their operating hours are from 11am until 11pm. How come?”

Perfect. This was just what Gavin thought they might need. “Have you looked it up?” he encouraged.

“It’s a reading café, from their website? It’s not very extensive, but the reviews are glowing with praise.”

“Yeah, I thought it might be. This place is super special, I wasn’t sure if they’d be able to keep the charm of it secret but it seems they have. Fancy going down there tonight?”

Gavin’s smile grew with how much Connor was stunned, but then that shy smile he adored slowly came onto the android’s face. “Are you asking me out on a date, Gavin?” Connor wondered warmly.

“Hell yeah, baby, you know I am. If you’re keen for it? I think you’ll love this little hideaway.”

Connor came around the table to crouch next to Gavin and kiss him slowly. “I’d love to go out with you tonight, Gavin.”

How was it that they’d been living as a couple for a while now, and yet Gavin was getting butterflies at the thought of them finally having a date? He wasn’t sure, but he was going to grasp at it with both hands.

“Let’s get dressed up then, Con. We’ve got a date to be heading on.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't think the next update for this fic will be quick as I need to finish my epic for the Reed900 Reverse Big Bang, but I'm going to set myself the goal of the next update being at the start of December. Fingers crossed!
> 
> It's date time next time! Hope you all enjoyed this chapter and I'll see you all next time!
> 
> <3

**Author's Note:**

> I can't promise that this fic will be updated as quickly as **_Watch Me Wither_** as I'm helping to run the Reed900 Reverse Big Bang, but I promise to keep this as up to date as I can! 
> 
> <3


End file.
